Our One Month Old and Twenty-One Month Old

Can you believe how fast time is flying??? My little boys are growing, far to fast for my liking. Jacob turned 1 month on the 20th and Collin turned 21 months on the 22nd. We are still adjusting, although I think a lot of our the adjusting may have something to do with trying to adjust to an almost 2 year old while being slightly sleep deprived. Collin is just a little sponge. He learns words I did not even know he had heard. His newest word is "med-sin" which is what he says when he wants him gummy vitamin. He still loves Buzz Lightyear, and it is the word he uses for tv, movies, and his sippy cups. Although not a whole lot of Toy Story has been watched since he takes movies out of the DVD player and misplaces them. He loves to help with Jacob. He was helping me give Jake a bath this afternoon. He hates to watch him have his diaper changed, he always says "ohhh, ohhh, Jakie." We are quick to assure him all is well. Collin is getting more and more independent, something that is hard for both parties. We stay home a lot, just because the strive for independence warrants a lot of tantrums. And boy can he throw them with the best of them. But I know with time, this will get better.

Jacob is growing. He does not speak or do anything really amazing, he is just cute, and sweet, and cuddly. He still is very much in the newborn stage, something I love and will soon miss. When I see his cousin, it makes me sad because I know my little baby will soon be out of the snuggly newborn stage, and will be quickly into the discovering the world stage. Jacob has his good nights and bad nights. I go back to work in two weeks, and I am hoping he will continue to move towards sleeping longer. Much of the night I hold him either on my chest or in my arms. I love holding him, and I know he will only be little for such a short time, so truly I will let him be little for awhile.  The monkey is one from when he was at Primary's. It is a build-a-bear monkey and it even makes sounds. I think it is cute to take a picture each month with the monkey to see how he is growing. He still has tons of blond curly hair, and it is growing longer and is still so curly and cute. I just love to hold him against me with his soft tufts of hair. We go into the doctor in a week and half for the RSV vaccine, so I will find out how much he weighs. I know he is growing, because his newborn clothes are getting to small, both in length and width. Anyways, I need to get to sleep. I just want to wish each and every one of you a Happy Thanksgiving. I am grateful for so much in my life, but very grateful to be able to go to bed, knowing my guys are all safely in bed and under the same roof. What miracles we have blessed with.

Loving Life

As I write this post, my sweet one month old (that's right, he was one month yesterday!) sleeps on my chest, while my 21 month old naps in the other room. I am tired, but being able to sleep from 12:20 am until 6:20 am (only because Jacob slept his first night through!!!)  truly helped my overall lack of sleep, (and makes me a nicer person too!) We have been slightly more adventurous this week, and actually stepped out of the house a couple of times. I took the boys to Target (had to buy baby diapers) and that experience made me want to stay in for forever. Jacob slept in his covered carseat, while Collin was his usual mischievous almost-two-year-old self. He even climbed out of the cart and bonked his head. A bunch of other moms smiled and came over to lend emotional support. It made me decide to wait until Mike came home to venture out again with the two boys.

Mike on the left, our nephew Ryan in the middle with his Dad, Jason.

And we stopped by the cousin's house so that Jacob and his cute cousin Ryan could meet. These two were due about 2 months apart from each other (their Dads are identical twins!) Jake is so tiny in comparison. I hope my little guy can chunk up, but than again he was born at 36 weeks and after having heart surgery, a lot of his calories were being utilized to heal, so it took until 3 weeks to get him back up to his 7 lb birth weight. I think he currently weighs between 8 and 9 pounds, but I am just guessing.

We also attended our niece and nephew's first birthday party a few weeks ago. I tell their mom they should be baby models, because they are so cute. They have golden curly locks of hair, bright blue eyes, and are perfectly chubby! But you can judge for yourselves:

And I even got to have some sister time. Yep, I was one of those crazies who saw Harry Potter at 12 am and it was 100% worth it! The movie was amazing and I did not even get tired once (although I am usually awake parts of the night anyways.) So the pictures I took look horrid, because sadly I need a serious pick-me-up with my hair and clothing, so sorry, I will not be sharing any from the premiere. There were some people in pretty funny and outrageous costumes, and a million or so teenagers. But it was so nice to have some fun, some yummy snacks an treats, and to be in the company of my fun sisters!!!

My three other pictures are three of my favorites. My talented friend came and took some newborn pictures for us. I love how angelic Jacob looks, because he seriously is so sweet and just loves to be loved on and snuggled. And we have had a breakthrough this week: Collin loves his little brother!!! He likes to "hold" him, loves to give him kisses, loves to cover him with whatever blanket there is lying around, and also loves to shove his sippy cup into Jake's mouth to share (how nice, huh?) The third pose is Jacob's favorite way to live, held, loved, and cuddled. He is the snuggliest little guy, and we love it!

Well, that is about it for an update. I will be busy this week cleaning, baking and cooking, and decorating for Christmas!!!! I love being home this week and am glad Mike will be home part of the week with us!!!

Got Milk???

We had awesome success with this in the past, and are hoping to have success again with this request. A little TMI, but because of a breast reduction when I was 19, I do not make a lot of milk. And I have worked with lactation consultants, but being able to wholly supply milk for Jacob is something I can not physically do, especially with him eating more and more. So I am looking for some milk mommas to help out. I could begin to explain the benefits of breast milk, but just pure ans simply it is better for him, 100% better, and we are looking for donations. My e-mail is littleforeverfamily@gmail.com, or you can just leave a comment since all comments are moderated, they will only be seen by me. We will of course cover milk bags so please just let us know if you could help!!!

Cardiology and a Circumcision from Heck

Jacob has spent 4 of the 5 days this week seeing his doctors. We had weight checks, cardiology, and a horrible circumcision. We were nervous about Jacob gaining weight, since we pulled his feeding tube. Well, he is gaining about an ounce to two ounces a day, and so no more weight checks. Cardiology was another great appointment. Jacob had an x-ray, and there was still no fluid (yeah!!!) His murmur is gone, the EKG looked great, and cardiology felt like he is doing perfectly. We go back in two months, but I do not anticipate anything coming up, although you just never know with our family.
We also had Jacob circumcised this week. This was a decision we debated heavily about. Especially where he has already been through so much. So I was so nervous to take him in. I work on a mom/baby floor, and assist all the time with circs. So I anticipated this would not be any different from the hundreds and hundreds I have seen/assisted with and on. But there are always risks. My poor little babe would not stop crying last night, so I checked the circ and actually started crying myself. It was swollen to about 5 times what it should be, and the color was horrible (with a color mix of blue and green.)

I freaked out and called the doc on call. We went in about an hour later. I was hoping I was just being a crazy new mom, but when the doctor looked at it he could not believe how bad it looked. He sent a picture up to Primary's urologist and they said it looked bad, but not to do anything and just have us follow up with our ped today. Well this morning, when I opened Jake's diaper, the piece of plastic and string that were supposed to make a clean circumcision had fallen off, 5-6 days to early. We took him back in, and our doctor was just shaking his head. He was Mike's pediatrician and he said that never in the 30 years that he has been practicing has he seen this happen. He called urology, and sent some pictures. The urologist had only seen this happen twice before, and she said we would have to wait a month to re-evaluate as to what will need to happen. She said it should be fine, but to just watch it. It is ironic to me since I have never seen any problems like this and than this happens with my own son.

Hopefully he will heal, and not slip back into his sad little self. You never want your kids to experience pain, and the 4 + hours of crying broke my heart. This kid did not even need anything besides Tylenol after his heart surgery, and so I know it had to really be hurting him to have him crying. Anyways, I need to sign off and go fold laundry. Would someone please give me some advice on how to keep up with all the laundry? How does someone so small add so much to the laundry pile?! And also, advice on how to keep a house semi clean would be helpful. I just need tips on what worked.

Jake and Jake

As most of you know, it was very difficult to name this little baby. In the end, we teetered between Jacob and Oliver, and actually he was Oliver for a little while. The main reason we decided to name Jacob Jacob was  because of my brother Jacob. He is a soldier, serving in Aghanistan. And I honestly could not think of a better story to be able to tell Jacob someday of why he has the name he has. To be named after someone who loved and served their country, not to mention one of the kindest-hearted people that I know. He was always the sweet, peaceful brother, and for anyone who knows Collin, we need a peaceful little guy. 

Well tonight, we were able to welcome home my brother Jacob. He is home for two weeks, and it was wonderful to me able to see him. And he was able to meet and hold his little name sake.

 

I love how cute these two are, and love even more that little Jacob smiled while his uncle Jake was holing him.

We pulled his feeding tube today. He is eating really well, and does better and better each day. I am hoping to see that he continues to put on weight. It was hard to pull our safety net. We are keeping track of the feedings still, and I know that if he needs it, we can always put it back in. So crossing our fingers that he continues to do well with feeds, and that he continues to gain weight. I might take him in on Monday and weigh him, to see how he is doing. I know it is not completely necessary, but I know it will ease or worries about how he is doing. I guess you never get over the new baby worries.

We see cardiology this week, and Jacob has another doctors appointment the day after. I do not foresee any issues, just need him to continue to gain weight. We love his little sweetness, love the smiles, and love seeing Collin and Jacob connect more and more as brothers. Some moments are hard, but we just try to make Collin feel important and know that this will get better with time. 

Adjusting

 You would think I would take a gazillion pictures since being home, but honestly between pumping, Collin, Jacob, and trying to survive each day, a lot of life has gotten pushed to the back burner (and sadly pictures/blogging/etc were what we pushed back!) It was wonderful to be able to leave the hospital, although there was still a little guilt in leaving some friends there. 

We got Jacob bathed (had to take pictures of his little golden curly locks)
and dressed to go home. 

After all the paperwork was completed, we got out of the little house on the hill. We came home on Sunday (late afternoon) with just a feeding tube and oxygen. It was neat to come home on Halloween, because it is the three year mark of Ryker having his open heart surgery. Also, we bought a little outfit for Jacob, and prayed he would be able to wear it. I know it was silly, but I kept thinking "if he is able to wear this, it means everything will be all right." Because to me, it meant he would be healthy. I know, it does not make a lot of sense, but it was just a miracle to go home.

 I will have to put him in the outfit again and take a picture because this was the only picture I took of going home since the camera was accidentally packed away. After getting a little settled, Mike left to get Collin and have some family dinner, sans Jacob and I (it was really nice to rest.) Collin is pretty indifferent towards Jacob, but seems to be warming up to him. 

He thinks it is pretty funny when Jacob is ready to eat and sticks out his tongue.

It is funny, because people think that the hard part of being home is Jacob. And really, Jacob does not really cry, is pretty peaceful, and really just wants fed, love, and sleep. Collin on the other hand, is nearing the terrible twos, along with feeling and dealing with a definite adjustment in his world. He is throwing more tantrums, screaming at the top of his lungs, and just having a rough time. That is probably the hardest part of all of this, and I am praying it will get better. So any tips would be appreciated, or just telling me it will get better will grant me an ounce of sanity.

You are probably wondering what this is. This little thing (there is a better picture two below) is what popped out after they delivered Jacob. Ironically, the doctor that pulled this out also has the name of Jacob and may or may not have swayed our decision in naming Jacob. We told the docs that whoever found the shunt would win a prize, and what better prize than having a baby named after you (well we let him think that at least!)

The shunt that was placed in Jacob's chest while in-utero.

You can imagine why this would be so painful to have placed, as it is big, and why Jacob yanked it out (I do not blame him one bit.) But this little piece of plastic with the metal tips truly is the reason we have our little miracle. Were it not for this, I am not sure Jacob would be here today.

These are Jacob's two week pictures. His little umbilical cord came off, and so he was able to get his first sort of bath (we still can not let him soak in the water since we want his incision to heal. something I will have to take pictures of after his next bath.) He is just sweet, loves to be held and really such a good baby. I know it may not last, but I am just enjoying our little miracle and his strong sweet spirit. 

Off to bed now. Love the sleep.