Not Good News

Oh, what a day. Our appointment/ultrasound was this morning. Our biggest hope was to see either less fluid or for amount to stay the same. While the tech was scanning the chest, I could see two pockets of fluid but was really hoping I was just seeing something different. Dr. S. came in, and he talked quite a bit about what was going on. He was not expecting a dramatic change in a week, but not only was there more fluid on the left lung, there is now also fluid on the right lung. We are just shocked and baffled. Dr. S is too. He called our pediatric cardiologist to confer with him. He just does not understand how something as small as a coarctation of the aorta could be causing this, and he wants Dr. S to look into different avenues, which he was doing already. Dr. S is calling it Hydrops, but what is causing the hydrops is unknown. I had labs drawn to recheck my blood type and RH sensitivity, and also to check for previous infections (CMV, Parvo virus, and Toxoplasmosis) and another test but the name was really strange so I do not remember what it is called. He is just really concerned. He wants to do an amniocentesis to check for infection. The great thing about already having had a chromosome study is that we for sure have one less reason to worry. He is also conferring with a couple of other doctors that do fetal surgeries to see about possibly placing a shunt to drain the fluid. We discussed the strong potential of delivering this baby early, looking at weeks instead of the months I thought I would have. I will be six months along on the the 13th of August. And I will be 25 weeks this Friday. We discussed looking at steroid shots to develop our little guy's lungs, but I am utterly terrified delivering such an early baby. I will be having another c-section pretty much for sure. So again, there are so many unknowns and we just do not know where to go or what to do or think. Having an early baby is pretty scary, and when you add any other problems, it just makes it that much more terrifying.  We are just shell-shocked for now. I feel like throwing up, because it just kills me to think about saying goodbye to another child. We truly are trying to hold onto hope that he will be okay, but there almost comes a point after you get knocked down time after time that it is hard to get up, and even harder to fight. I am going to sign off and try to sleep. I feel so worn out.