Memorial Day and More!!!

Well I know I am not the best blogger but I am trying (there's points for effort, right?) We have had a sick little guy this week, and it has been pretty rough (we were kind of used to the baby who was sleeping through the night and not crying out of misery!) So sleep was a high commodity this week. Since Monday was Memorial Day, we had to go and remember those who we love, that have passed on from this life. I love the cemetery Lilly and Ryker are buried in. There is such a mix of people. We have pioneers, we have soldiers, we have mothers, father, sisters and brothers, and of course sons and daughters. There is such a peace there.


For some weird reason, the row Lilly and Ryker are buried in has a LOT of infants and small children buried there. Two of them are their cousins, but it is just kind of sad and sweet all at once to know so many little ones are grouped coincidentally together. This is the picture of Lilly and Ryer's headstone, and a few of the beautiful and sweet flowers that were placed on their grave. The windmill is courtesy of our sweet little nieces, Gracie and Morgan. Morgan was especially big about giving it to her sweet angel cousins.

I just had to post this picture (this is for you Amy and of course my Dad! As you can see, we are true and blue BYU Cougar fans, and I can tell Collin will too be a huge BYU fan!!!) I wish I had taken some pictures today, as it was my brother-in-law's missionary homecoming shin-dig and it was a lot of fun with some really yummy food. There was an amazing musical number before he spoke. It was a pianist with two viloinst and they played "How Great Thou Art" and I really was touched. I looked around, at all the family and friends that were there to support this extraordinary young man that I am privildeged to call my brother-in-law, and I thought about those that we could not see, that I KNOW were there supporting Chris. I was especially teary-eyed, remembering that two tears ago, when we saying goodbye to Chris, I was missing Lilly soo much and was pregnant still with Ryker. This time, I did have Collin, but I looked at my niece (who is the same age as Lilly to the day) and another little boy who was born the day I was supposed to have Ryker. It made me miss them. I miss my sweet babies. I am grateful for Collin but it does not mean I miss Lilly and Ryker any less. But it was truly wonderful to see how much my brother-in-law has grown. And we had a ton of fun, so much that NONE of the Grandkids could sleep! :) Oh, well!

The last few weeks at work, I am realizing more and more how fact Collin is growing. It saddens me, because I cannot believe he is nearing the age where he starts to eat rice cereal.
*Sniffle, sniffle.* We llove this little guy. It broke our hearts having him sick, but I think all the Grandkids were sick the last two weeks. The best part of last week and probably what truly got me through the hard nights and days is planning our five year anniversary. Needless to say, Mike and I will be going to Post Office tomorrow to get the passport process started. Can anyone say a little fun-under-the-sun? Have I mentioned how MUCH I LOVE the ocean?!?! So I will share a picture of the fun that will be had, come November! Carribean Sea, here we come!!!

Cannot wait!!! We are ready for some fun-in-the-sun! And BTW, no, sweet little Collin is not coming along. He is just still too little:( He will be missed a ton, his Mom and Dad really need this and I know we will come back a better Mommy and Daddy!!!

So Much Going On

Well sorry I have not posted sooner. We have just been busy having fun! Chris arrived home from Brazil safely, and we are so happy to have him home! It was crazy at the airport, and there were many tears and laughs. One of the funniest moments was the balloons. You see, my in-laws got balloons representing each of the Grandkids. We explained this to Chris, and his sister Kat was holding two. She kept trying to point out to him that she was holding two, but he was not getting the picture. After a few minutes, he looked at her and said, "Kat, are you pregnant?" We all laughed.

He looked again at the balloons, and suddenly realized she was holding two. It all clicked than, and we were all busting and he was like, "okay, that's it, I'm going back to Brazil!" It was pretty funny and the look on his face explains the shock and delight!


The twins were so happy to see their baby brother. They of course were not the only ones. I wish I had a picture of my MIL waiting for Chris to come down. I think she was about to rush past the guards, so that she could hug her baby for the first time in two years! There was a lot that happened while Chris was gone. There were three new nephews and another niece born. That was another one of the funnier parts: the nieces and nephews meeting Chris for the first time.

Gracie just kind of looked at him. She was just intrigued who this new guy was. Though, it was a much warmer welcome than what Chris got from Caden and Morgan.

This was a whole second before Caden went leaping from his arms! It really had us laughing!

Morgan was very standoffish at first. This was the second attempt at trying to get Morgan to go to Uncle Chris. (Don't worry, a little while later he pulled out the stops with giving her some presents! She was his instant buddy after that!)

Although Chris never was able to meet Ryker, he was finally able to meet his newest nephew Collin. Collin just stared at him, not smiling but at least not crying! :)

This is a picture of the parentals and Chris. Sorry it is blurry ( I did not take 90% of these
pictures!)
Likewise, the siblings (and of course the in-laws) are tickled to have Chris home.



We had quite the party that night, with some yummy food at Wingers! We were all pretty tired at the end of the day. Gracie ended up back in the hospital shortly after but only had to be there for a few days with croup.

Collin is just growing so fast. He likes to stay nice and even with weight and height and sticks around the 50th percentile for everything. We just love him, and he is more and more smiley every day. I have finally caught him smiling on camera a few times. I do not think he is feeling very good right now. He has had a really runny nose and now has started to cough. All he wants is Momma or at least Dad to snuggle him. I even had to leave some training last night and ended up having to go and pick him up from my Sister's because he had been crying non-stop for two hours. I'm not sure what is up, because he also woke up during the night (which he really does not do) and just was really upset. Hopefully he gets feeling better soon. Our pediatrician thinks that he does have allergies, and maybe he just has something on top of that. Anyways, I think this is long enough of a post. I just wanted to let the families of heart angels know that we are thinking of you, and for those who are expecting new ones or have fairly new little ones, we are so very excited for you. And for those who are not, you are very near and dear to us and our thoughts. The pain is really hard, especially this time of year when you are thinking about all the things you could be doing or planning. This is the first summer we will be able to share it with a child of our own. A little update there: we are planning to finalize the adoption October 5th, and than have him sealed to us October 9th. We are than planning the baby blessing for the 11th, which really and honestly could not be a better birthday present for me than to be able to do see our baby given a name and blessing outside of the hospital. We will have a party or two intertwined in that mix, so it will be a fun week to look forward to!

It's Going to be a Great Day

Today, Mike's little brother Chris comes home. He has been in Brazil for the last 2 years, serving the wonderful people there. He has done so honorably and we know that he was meant to be there. We know it has been hard for him to be away, and yet we would have it not other way, and I know he would not. The last time I saw Chris I was about 17 weeks along with Ryker. Chris said that when he came back, we would probably be having another baby, his older sister would either have a baby or be pregnant, Jason and Deanna would have another, and Shell might even have one. He pretty much has nearly hit it on the nail (give or take a couple of kids/pregnancies, and no I am not pregnant!:) I still remember calling him from Primary's in the room usually reserved for family conferences. I remember my father-in-law making his way through international numbers and I remember Mike telling Chris that his sweet son had just passed away. It moved everyone of us to tears when Chris spoke to the family and told them that through the Atonement and because of our Savior, we would be with Ryker again someday. This little 19 year old boy that had left us had become a man. We love you Chris and can not wait to see you!

A Funny Moment

I woke up this morning, and went to get Collin dressed. When I was pregnant with Ryker, I suprised Mike for Father's day and purchased a little BYU shirt. Well, today Collin is big enough that he got to wear his older brother's shirt. The last two days have really made me miss Ryker because both days Collin was dressed in something that I SPECIFICALLY remember buying for Ryker. But it is also healing to not have boxes and bins of clothing that have NEVER been worn. But what made the last two days better was how cute Collin was for me. I hate being away from him at work, but love the days I get to be home with him. Today, we decided to go and have lunch with my Dad. He works about 40 minutes away and it was nice to be able to have kunch with my Mom and Dad, and also my sister and nephew. The funny part of the day is running into someone I know as Mr. R, as he is the spouse to Mrs. R, of the R House blog (which I heart!) I was brave enough to go up to him in Olive Garden and say, "are you Mr. R? I toally love to read your wife's blog, and actaully kind of know he because she taught grade school with my Mother-in-law." He was just nice and smiled and said "I get this here and there." I too have had those funny moments. I think it is funny, just because I am SOO not impressive what-so-ever but it does give me a great giggle for the day!

Mother's Day

I know there are many (and in my opinion all too many women) who never experience motherhood. I feel fortunate that although my two pregnancies resulted in the loss of my two miracles, that I am able to still be a Mom through adoption. Today is birthmother day. Although I know our birthmom is not going to read this anytime soon, I just still want to pay tribute to her and just wanted to share how much she means to us and the love we have for her. So happy birthmother day to you, our angel!!!


Lilly was the first to make me a mother (but if you ask my family, our dog Skip was our first child!) I was only about 3 or 4 months along when I had my first mother's day. I had no idea the challenges she would face or that she would not be there for the next mother's day. I loved being her Mom. I would dress in her in cute little outfits and I loved doing her hair. I would tote her along wherever I went and really was just a proud Momma.


I spent my second Mother's Day pregnant again, also about 3-4 months pregnant and missing Lilly. But I again was looking forward to being a Mom once again, still naive to the battles Ryker would face and sadly lose his life too. But it was a joyful day and I was grateful for my babies. This picture is the first time I held my precious and beautiful son. Miss you Ryker!

The next year, last year, the day became Barren Awareness Day. This is a day many women experience. I am aware of their suffering. We all suffer differently. Last year, I must be honest in saying I hated the thought of celebrating the day. You see, I was a Mom, but I did not have any children to celebrate the day with me.


This year, I celebrate the holiday as a Mother to our incredible miracle (who looks like and angel when he sleeps!) But I still look back and realize the many women who either cannot have children or are awaiting their own miracle. Be soft hearted and realize that although this is a day to celebrate our mothers, there are women who want to be mothers, and celebrating this day is like swallowing a huge piece of melon: it hurts and trying to keep it down is down-right painful. So happy mother's day to all of the Moms and those amazing women who long to be Moms. And lots of love to Collin's other Moms out there~you know who you are and know that you are loved!

I'm Back!

I say that, but can you blame me for being too busy to blog? I love these guys and love spending every moment with them! We have been crazy busy, with finishing school, and I am now back to work while being a busy Mom (and of course trying to be a good wife to Mike, but apparently my house is not on the top of the list!) We are also taking more classes so that we can continue to keep our baby (like I've said, everything will eventually be shared!) I love being a Mom. The last 3 weeks, Collin has slept ALL the way through the night (except last night, he awoke at 4 for one hour:) and has slept the last 4 nights in his very own crib! He is the snuggliest little guy and is also pretty smiley (just have not been able to catch the heart-melting smile on camera yet!) He gives us the funniest little looks. He is growing so fast. He has outgrown almost ever piece of 0-3 month clothing, and fits in 3-6 month clothing. We've trimmed his hair twice, but it just grows sooo fast that it does not matter. He loves his car-seat, and loves to go on walks. He is starting to suck on his hands, and grasp at things (i.e. my face) and loves to be sung to. The huge smiles and coos just kill me and will get Mike or me to run into the room! Mike's brother comes home in less than 2 weeks and we really just can not wait! We are excited to see him, and are anxious for his one last letter next Wednesday. There is just so much going on. My best friend is still recovering from having her baby at 33 weeks, while her baby learns to eat and grow. I know mother's day is Sunday, and am really excited to share it with our little guy! I am back to excercising, and am trying to do better! I will end with a funny conversation I overheard while excerising last night!

Really skinny 40 something year-old: Haven't seen you in awhile.
Really skinny 50 something year old: Yeah, I have been gone for awhile. I am trying to get back into it and lose the fat off of my (chicken legs) thighs.
Really skinny 40 something year old: Yeah, I have some weight I need to lose before we go to Hawaii.
Me: I think I am going to barf! (and texted said thought to my sister!)
Really-skinny 50 something year old: Yeah, I am going to be gone and am really worried about gaining weight.
Really-skinny-40-something-year-old: Yeah, you have to be really careful/
*Seriously, I think if these two women combined their weight my chubby son would still weigh more! But seriously women, if you are working out, and it is next to a some-what more plump gal, DO NOT COMPLAIN ABOUT ANY EXTRA WEIGHT!
Will post again soon!
Isn't he yummy? We just can not get enough of him!