Our Little Update

I know I have not updated lately, and I do apologize. Sometimes life just gets busy. We are down to 26 days until my c-section. I contract and all that fun stuff, and try to take it easy, but not always possible. I am still working about two days a week, sometimes three, and after 12 hours on my feet I crash and burn when I get home. Mike is busy, with being a husband and dad, working, and anatomy. And Collin is as fun and crazy as ever. He is truly fearless, sometimes causing our hearts to jump through our chests and Collin to gain more bumps and bruises. But every day he learns new words, and understands more and more. That with the cute kisses, hugs, and loves just makes us love him more and more.

Our little no-namer seems to be behaving himself. I did not have to go to perinatology this week, but had an appointment up at Primary's for the last fetal echo. I know I mentioned last week that we could see the coarctation of the aorta during the ultrasound. So it was no surprise to see it very clearly during the echo. The doctor says they will still perform an echo after he is born, and than will most likely transfer him to Primary Children's to the CVICU. He will probably have surgery the first week, and they hopefully will be able to perform the surgery through the left side, and not have to do open heart surgery. I told my best friend (a CVICU nurse there, which is wonderful to be able to have someone who understands both the emotional and medical sides here) that I can handle a few weeks at the hospital, but that I need this to be a different experience. She told me I need to keep reminding myself that this will not be Ryker again. This is a different experience, and we be able to enjoy our little baby.

The one reassurance that was kind of funny from the doctor was when we were asking who the surgeons were now. He made this comment "the surgeons, they are very good. They have not lost a coarc patient yet." Imagine this in an Indian accent. I laughed actually, because it was just funny how it was put, and thinking that my children never do what they are supposed to. Hopefully this little boy will behave himself.

I am hoping the pleural effusions will not be an issue with our baby. Even with the shunt pulled, our little boy has just a tiny pocket on the left side. My hope is that the fluid will no longer be an issue even after he is born, that maybe we will be able to get a lot of hugging and love in before they have to do anything. I held Ryker three times before he passed away, ever. I do not want that again. So this has to be a different experience.

My only complaint right now is my pulse. It stays about 115-130, and that is even sitting and doing nothing. It races up to 160-190 without any exertion. I know your pulse can be higher during pregnancy, but I have never had this. It scares me when it goes up high, because sometimes it is when I am sleeping and wakes me up. And I feel like I cannot breathe or I wake up choking. My doctor does not seem concerned, but my one concern is that when it raced up tonight, my chest actually hurt. I am just putting this out there, because I am wondering if anyone has had this problem or maybe has any ideas. So there you go. I have some more pictures to post, but I will post those next time. Hopefully this little boy grows and stays baking for another 4 weeks. We see perinatology Monday, so I will update than.

*P.S. What we are specifically praying for is that this little boy will not have to have open heart surgery and that the fluid around the chest will be a non-issue. Thank-you for the prayers!

Our Little Naughty

I had to laugh today. We went to our perinatology appointment and had our ultrasound. The tech was scanning the baby and our doctor came in and took over. We were chatting, and he was scanning everything. He kept going over our little guy's chest. There wasn't any extra fluid, but I could not see the shunt. I chalked it up to just not being able to get a good shot of the chest where it is, when the doctor said "I cannot find the shunt." We started laughing, because really this whole time I have been expecting to go in at some point and see it gone. The doctor searched the chest, in and out, searched his hands, mouth, everywhere, and he could not find it. I kept laughing, because I can easily see this baby yanking the thing. I am sure it did not feel very comfortable, and with his acrobatics, it does not surprise his dad or myself at all.

The question you are wondering "what does this mean?" It really means nothing, especially since I am 32+ weeks. It is probably floating around somewhere in there, and cannot really do anything so we just wait. They will get a chest x-ray to make sure it is not actually in his chest once he is born.  And they are still watching the fluid, but since there is nothing on the right side, and the same amount on the left, even without the shunt in place, there is nothing really to do but let this baby cook a few more weeks. The doctor is optimistic things will remain stable for the next 5 weeks.

We were also able to get probably the best picture of the suspected coarctation of the aorta. I could definitely see the narrow part, but we will just have to wait and see what happens when he is born. Since it is in the same place that his Dad's was, I am hopeful they can wait to do anything till he grows, if anything will be needed to be done at all. I am still holding on to the hope that maybe he will be able to come home with us when I am discharged. Not expecting it, but just hopeful that it may happen. Anyways, there is the update. I will seem my OB next week, and they will be doing weekly non-stress tests on the baby. And I just try to keep busy and occupied, which is pretty easy with a crazy little tornado of a 19 month old. And I am thinking about Halloween and making some crafts. I love this time of year!

18/19 Months

I am a little behind on pictures. We were trying for so long to keep people informed about our little guy that the picture posts got shoved to the side. I keep looking at the top picture and thinking "jeez Collin's hair is long" but this pictures is so cute because Morgan is the one cousin Collin is not always kind to. And they look so happy sitting there together. Not sure why, since he does seem to love her, but she gets the same treatment Collin sometimes gives to his Dad . 

You are probably wondering what these random horrid pictures are from. Well so did we when we were loading pictures one day. This is what happens when the toddler snatches the camera. And apparently this is not the first time it has happened, as you can see below. 

Collin has apparently taken a young interest in photography. And the interest is in pushing buttons on the camera he is not allowed to play with. Pretty impressive, right? By the way, if you are wondering what is wrong with his toe nails, the kid is pretty accident prone. As shown below when he took a nice spill while trying to walk down the cement steps like a big boy. 

I love this picture (besides the obvious face scrapes from said spill) because my brother-in-law (who is single and 22) wanted the picture taken to show what an awesome uncle he is! Made me laugh, but since I have known Chris since he was 16, no surprise. But the nieces and nephews do love Chris and love to be read to. This was taken after we put 4 of them in the tub, which was pretty funny. 

Collin loves people. He gives his smiles (dimples and all) pretty freely and loves kids. He is actually really good with babies. He loves to gives toys and hugs to our 6 month old niece, and our 10 month old niece and nephew. It gives me hope for when his brother comes. 

Collin is learning new words every day, every week. He now says a few three word sentences. Granted, they are not the best grammar wise, but hey, he is only 19 months! He loves to say "I do it" "Bye-bye (Grandma, Grandpa, Mama, Dadda) he knows his one girl cousin's name Abby, than loves to say Tatum (his boy Cousin) all the time. But even though he many not be able to say a name, he knows who people are. Collin hates it when his family leaves, so if you come to visit, and when you leave, he will be very sad. He knows tomato, outside, kitty, makes the noises to a bunch of animals, and is really good at saying "no" and "stop". He jabbers and jabbers. Sometimes, when we are getting up the bathroom during the night, he is jabbering away to someone, probably his brother or sister (or both.) There are a lot more words, but I am not going to list every word our son says. I think the reason we are so pleased that he does pretty well in this area is because of the exposure of drugs Collin experienced when he was in-utero, and just being worried parents. He loves books, loves "choo-choos", loves animals (which means the dog gets a little too much love) and has started to blow kisses pretty darn well. Those are our favorites. Tonight he said "night-night Momma" and blew me kisses. Could not have made for a more proud mom. 

 Collin is so fearless. He has learned how to open handles, so that if it the door is not locked, he will make his way out or in. He loves to jump off high places, as well as climb up into high areas. He had his 11th haircut last week. I keep track because up till last week cutting his hair was horrid! He hates it! He still hates having it combed, and sometimes I am too tired to chase him to do it. He loves to give the baby kisses and thinks my round belly makes and excellent pillow. We just love him and are excited for him to be a big brother. 

An Angel Plan

I am pretty sure that Lilly and Ryker have been looking out for their little family. Ever since we discovered that this baby had the same due date just about as his big brother and sister, we really wondered if Heavenly Father knew what he was doing giving us this very unexpected baby during an already hard time. And than when we found out all the problems, we could not help bit feel like this was a cruel replay of losing Lilly and Ryker. As we've seen this miracle with our baby, we began to have hope that maybe we would have something of joy to celebrate at this difficult time of year. And today, at my perinatology appointment, I realized that this baby will be making his debut just a day before his big brother Ryker's birthday. I have an amnio that will take place on October 25th, with a c-section scheduled on the 26th. Ryker's birthday is the 27th, and Lilly's is actually also in October, the 18th. One of my friend's suggested that this was the plan all along. And I can not help but believe that this is what happened. I know Lilly and Ryker worry about us. I know they want to see us happy, and I think that they arranged for their brother Collin make it into our family, but also saw to it that we were watched over and given something joyous to celebrate during a sad time of year for us. So what better than a baby, with a due date so close to his angel brother and sister. I am getting down to the count, with a little over 6 weeks till this baby will make his debut. We still need to decide on a name. We have been stuck on four potentials for about the last month: Jacob, Benjamin, Owen and Oliver. I should probably redo the voting, although I think we will have to meet our little guy before we decide. I promise the next post will have pictures, because I have some cute pictures that need to be posted. Well, off to bed. The twelve hour shifts are kicking my butt!

Mixed Feelings

I was on the computer last night, checking to see when our appointment at Primary's was today for another fetal echo. I was looking at the time when I noticed the cardiologist we would be seeing. She is an awesome cardiologist, Mike's adult CHD actually, but it is just hard to see her. Flash back to December 15th, 2007. We were facing the Hell of saying goodbye to our son Ryker, and it happened to be that she was the cardiologist on call that day. She was the doctor there, reviewing the echo and images of Ryker's hart, and  meeting with us to discuss what we wanted to do. A few days later, actually the day after we buried Ryker, Mike had a cardiology appointment at PCMC.  Dr. Y he was the one who walked in the room today. So reading that we would be seeing her today, for this baby, it just hit too close to home. I cried last night, I cried on the way up to Primary's. They thankfully switched me once I arrived, but the damage for the day was there. While washing my hands in the bathroom, and smelling the all too familiar scent of the soap I used so many times hit, and so ended up crying through the echo. I hate crying in public. I think I hid it pretty well from the staff, but Mike noticed. The cool fall air, the smells, the drive, familiar faces: just sometimes it is too much. And today was just one of those days.

But the good news was that this little boy has seemed to decide that he wants to hang around, that he wants to be a semi-healthy baby. He still has the coarctation of the aorta, but the hope is that:  a.) it is minor enough to not be too much of an issue, or something that maybe can be taken care of later b.) or that maybe that area of the aorta will grow, to where it will not be an issue at all. The doctor also scanned over the lungs, and there was pretty much nothing on the right side of the chest, and also a tiny bit on the left. He says that this baby looks really great, and that when he is born that it is very unlikely they will even have to give any medicine to keep the PDA (it closes after birth.) He said they will perform an echo, and probably just observe him. I asked if he thought we would be able to hold him once he was born, and he said that yes, that he should be fine, that barring any changes I could maybe even look at delivering vaginally. I go to maternal fetal medicine on Friday, and will be 31 weeks. It is crazy how miraculous this is. I have not felt the best in the last couple of days, but I know that once I get feeling better, this will keep sinking in. Thank-you for the prayers. The support is immense and just really appreciated.