My Intake Appointment

I do not think I really need to explain why we would be a lot little anxious about the health of our little baby (*side note here: I would not change what has happened in our life, because truly through tribulation comes blessings, and Collin is a huge blessing in our life that we would not have had were it not for losing Collin. I am in no way discounting the miracles Lilly and Ryker truly are. I just do not want to say goodbye to another child, it hurts too much.) So with this journey, I feel like we have good reason to be a bit on edge with worry. I went to the doctor today. I had what they call an intake appointment. What happens at an intake is they gather a lot of paperwork, gather your information and family/personal history, and set things up for the pregnancy. They also draw blood to check blood type, HIV statuc, Hepatitis B status, to see if you will need any necessary immunizations once you are no longer pregnant, and a few other. The nurse was wonderful. She was sweet, funny, and understanding of this hard situation. My official due date is November 13th. I have to go back on Thursday to meet with one of the OB's so that I can get a referral to see Perinatology. The nurse recommended being seen between 6-8 weeks at Perinatology, which gives my anxious heart a little reprieve. I know we will probably not be able to get a good picture of the heart, or even to get a clear picture of the brain, but truly, and I think others can relate to this feeling, just seeing the baby and seeing the heart beating brings a little peace. And I know that to continue to function and not be a basket case, I will need a lot of reassurances. I am also doing research into some of the other testing available. I have had two amniocentesis (the second with Ryker hurt so bad) so I am looking into the different tests they offer since amniocentesis seem more painful the further along you get.  This all may seem silly, but for some reason it helps. I realize we are not in control of this situation. But I feel like if there is a plan, I can have some semblance of normality in my life, and I can feel like I kind of have a little control. I also have my suspicions as to what this baby will be. I do not want to openly share my guess, but all's I am saying is that I am pretty good at guessing with our family and friends, and have been right on for both Lilly and Ryker amongst other nieces and nephews. I could of course be wrong, but here is the funny part. My mother-in-law has been flawless with guessing her Grandchildren (she is 7 for 7 since we already knew Collin was a boy) and her guess for this baby is opposite of mine. I am not 100% on my guess quite yet, but I just feel it, just like I felt "it" with Lilly and Ryker. That is one part I am excited about. Something we do have to look forward to :) We will know a little more next week as to what the plan for us will be.

And one year ago tomorrow we met this beautiful boy. It was a lucky St. Patty's Day for us. We were filled with such hope, that even though we were not bringing him home right than, we still got to hold the little guy who would be ours someday. It was a great day!!!

(Note the little St. Patty's outfit!) 

So Happy St. Patrick's Day!!!