Saturday, March 7, 2009

The Bends and Twists Along the Road of Life.

We are always on the road of life. Sometimes (not very often in our family) you are coasting along the bright and sunny straight fairway. Other times, you are driving along steep curves and bends that threaten you very life and push you till you feel you are going to fall off. This two week wait we are in is very much the steep and beautiful mountain roads, that in the end will take you either to beautiful places or will threaten your very sanity. It seems the further and further away we move from being in St. George, this last week, and the feelings of the beautiful peace and spirit that we mostly felt while down there, the more anxious I become. And since the further away we move from this last week, and the closer we draw towards going back down, the more I worry. We are doing so much to get ready, both physically and spiritually. It feels the more we do, the more I want our baby, to be here, with us and working on becoming our eternal family. It is soo hard to not have what you want more than almost anything in this world. It sucks even more to miss the first weeks of our baby's life. I try not to think about it, but it seems that there is such a strong force working against me to feel doubt and fear. In our religion, we feel very strongly that Satan can be a strong force. We also believe that the feelings of doubt and fear are not from our loving Heavenly Father but are instead of and from Satan. And I know that Satan is working hard on us, because it is not his goal to see great things happen, like this baby becoming part of our family. We also believe that families can be together forever. So although I do feel the beautiful peace that I know my sweet Lilly and Ryker bring, and they are near to me at this time, there is also the darker force working so hard to counteract those peaceful and beautiful feelings. This week we will be working hard to jump through any other remaining hoops, and hopefully one week from Tuesday will be able to bring our baby home. So continue the prayers for us. We feel uplifted and need that feeling. Please continue to pray for all our little heart friends out there. Our niece will hopefully be able to come home soon, but she is still so fragile. Thank-you for all of your uplifting comments. As soon as I can share the picture of our little one, we will.

8 comments:

  1. We hope for the best for you guys. You are in our prayers. We know you are watched out for and you will be blessed. Take care.
    We love you guys.
    Rob and Tamara

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  2. Emily,
    This is one of my first visits to your blog. I am so excited for your family to get a new little baby and so sorry for the loss of Lilly and Ryker - what cute little ones they are and how hard it must be to not have them with you right now. Hopefully you don't mind my following your blog now and again. You are welcome to follow ours if you want. :) We are from IHH, thus how we discovered your blog. Good luck with everything! We will keep your family in our prayers.
    The Steeds

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  3. You don't know me, but I came across your blog through my sweet friend Heidi's blog and I couldn't help but read your story and feel such a sense of pain and amazement for you and for the strength that you are showing through such a beyond painful time. Your babies were absolutely beautiful and you will be in my prayers tonight for this new little one that you are working for. What a blessing the gospel is. Whether you know it or not, you are a great strength for everyone that comes in contact with you in any way. God be with you.

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  4. You and Mike deserve the best! I hope everything goes well and you have the baby at home soon.
    Con cariƱo.
    Silvia.

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  5. I've checked out your blog in the past but have never left a comment, sorry...I'm also a heart mom and found your site through Heart Hero's. Your angels, Lilly and Ryker, were sure blessed babies to have you as their parents and I'm so sorry for your loss...it's completely amazing what you've been through. One of the hardest "journey's" I've read about...

    Congratulations on your upcoming addition and I pray that the adoption process goes smoothly and for you to feel the Lord's presence in these "darker" hours. Thank you for sharing your heart. Best wishes to you and your family!!!
    Love,
    Katie Allred (Maddie's mom, HRHS)
    Royal City, WA

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  6. I know you aren't into blog lurkers but that is what I am guilty of. I found you blog sometime last year from grace Andersen's and have been following your family since. I thought I'd comment to let you know I am praying for your little addition to work out. I know you are awesome parents and any one owuld be blessed to be in your family or halp it grow

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  7. HI THERE, YOU DONT KNOW ME BUT I LEFT A COMMENT A COUPLE POST AGO ABOUT ADOPTING OUR SWEET LITTLE BOY ZAK, LET ME TELL YOU, BE STRONG I KNOW THAT BEFORE WE GOT ZAK SATAN WAS WORKING ON OUR FAMILY, I THINK HE TRYS EVERYTHING IN HIS POWER TO STOP US FROM BECOMING A ETERNAL FAMILY, BUT THAT DAY YOU TAKE YOUR BABY TO BE SEALED TO YOU, YOU THINK IT WAS WELL WORTH THE FIGHT, YOU WILL BE IN OUR PRAYERS, ALSO I WAS WONDERING WHERE YOU GOT YOUR BUTTON THAT IS ON YOUR BLOG FOR ADOPTING? IF YOU COULD LET ME KNOW THAT WOULD BE GREAT, TAKE CARE....BLESSINGS EMILEE

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  8. Emily and Mike,

    You are in our prayers that you can feel more peace and have the strength needed to get this new spirit to your family.

    I love reading your blog. There is a spirit about it that I love feeling after I have read it! Thank you so much for having that warm spirit to share wth all of us.

    Jen Larsen

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