Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Gratitude is the Attitude (sorry for my long ramblings!)
The title of this post is what my parents tried to instill in me. I am trying to be more like this post. It is definitely not an easy journey. It seems that it is so much easier to find the ugly and not so good in the world, and to criticize everything around me. But I am beginning to again realize that I am in charge of my happiness. That happiness is not predicated on what kind of house I live in, what kind of car I drive, what I look like, or how many kids I have to brag about (and seriously, how many people can say they have two perfect kids *wink*wink!) But in all seriousness, I do have a lot to be grateful for. I am grateful for the eternal companion that I get to share my life with. I am grateful to have felt the soft nudges (and sometimes the hard nudges) of two sweet little babies. I know there are many women who sadly never get to experience carrying a child. It breaks my heart that there is infertility in this world, and it sucks that it is currently a challenge in my life. But I am grateful that I get to appreciate the miracle of child birth that much more. The part of my life that I am especially grateful for is the blessing of having a loving Heavenly Father that cares for me. These last two years have been hard. Very few can come to understand the Hell of the loss of a child, let alone two. There have been times where I feel embittered that there are not children in our home. I have learned that Heavenly Father is truly there for me. He does love me. He is not punishing me by taking away my two precious angels. He needed them, for reasons I do not fully understand (although we do have some pretty head-strong family in the here-afters!) But I know that I will be a Mom again, and I that it will be when the time is right (no matter how hard I wish that time was/is now!) He knows me, knows my heart aches, knows what I can withstand, and knows that when I do not understand Him and am frustrated, that he will be patient and await my return with loving open arms. So I am going to do my best, and try to do everything in my power to be the best I can be. So I am a work-in-progress, and I am changing so that I can be a better me.
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Beautifully written Emily.
ReplyDeleteHello Emily!
ReplyDeleteI agree with Nicole: Beautifully written!! I like your posts so much!
Your strength and your positive and optimistic way of looking to the future are an example for me.
Con cariño.
Silvia.
Can I just say that you are amazing? Thank you so much for being so sensitive and so caring to those around you, especially when you are enduring so many difficulties yourself.
ReplyDeleteThank you for your comment on my blog. You are too kind. Carolyn called me and we talked for a little bit. Thankfully, my "angry post" wasn't about THAT whole situation. I'm grateful I wasn't aware of THAT situation before because it would have been the straw that broke the camels back. I do know, however, what you're referring to, and it's hard. It's frustrating... there really are no words for it.
I'm just grateful for your example of goodness and Christ-like service during difficult times. You are a living testimony to me of Charity. In my opinion, those who are the most noble in this world are those who can, amidst all their own trials and struggles, look outside themselves and serve those around them. This is how I see you.
Thank you for your friendship and your constant love and concern for us. I can't tell you how much it means. Know that we love and care for you too.
Sincerely,
Ashley
Emily,
ReplyDeleteI am an adoptive mother, and you have much to look forward to! A few of us LDS gals have a fertility/adoption blog that you are welcome to visit or contribute to anytime you like.
infertilesisters.blogspot.com
After reading a little about your family, I feel uplifted to see how you are facing your trials. Your positive spirit is contagious!
Emily,
ReplyDeleteYou continue to amaze me. Thank you for sharing you deepest thoughts.
(HUGS)
Emily,
ReplyDeleteYou don't know me, but I stumbled across your blog about a year ago and have been a regular reader ever since. I have been touched by your display of courage and appreciate your optimistic outlook. Your recent post "Where do I fit in?" was especially moving; as a mother of four, I can only imagine what you must feel like in those situations. However, I would like to pass along another blog I just discovered about a young mother who recently delivered and lost 2 babies within about a year's time - one of them to a CHD. I'm sure this wonderful mother knows all too well some of the issues you face on a daily basis. The site is: hannahkathleanelliote@blogspot.com
I wish you the best of luck as you persue the avenue of adoption; I know some lucky little spirit is just waiting to join your family :)
Kimberly Beatty
It seems you get a lot of 'I don't know you, but I think you're amazing' comments. Here's one more . . .
ReplyDeleteI, like many, first heard of your story through TAMN. Tonight, I found you again through a blog of a friend who has a nephew with a heart condition.
Anyway, you truly are inspiring. I hope you know that--even on your bad days--you lift others. In so doing, you help people feel the love of God.
Fabulous things are in store for you--keep the faith, and the blessings will come.
Emily,
ReplyDeleteHey we really need to hang out sometime, so your positive, grateful and beautiful vibes can rub off on me. You are such a beatiful person and have such strength and faith. Thank You so much for being such a positive happy person.