I am a Senisitve Soul.

I am a sensitive soul. I love new babies, I love new Moms and Dads.
I love my nieces and nephews, and love tending their cute little tushies!
I love to spend the evening with my husband,
just cuddled on the couch,
enjoying each other's company.

I have LOVED being a Mom, and have loved having
the precious time with both Lilly and Ryker.

I cry whenever I see or hear the Hypoplastic
Left Heart Syndrome commercial that the local
hospital system (Intermountain Healthcare) plays
as an advertisement.
I love successful adoption and infertility stories.
They bring me such hope.

I cry very easily. I cry when I am mad, frustrated, happy,
sad, and when I am missing the heck out of my babies.

I am a sensitive soul. I know that we as women are a bit
more sensitive than our male counter-parts. But I know
I am that much more sensitive than most women.

It is that much harder for me to not take offense when
people make stupid comments. I wish that I had skin that was
really thick, so that hurtful comments could just bounce off.
But remember, I am sensitive. I know people should not have to
walk around on eggshells around everyone, including me. I just
think people have no idea when they are saying comments that are hurtful.
My sweet sister can not have kids biologically.
I have felt such guilt getting pregnant twice, but at the same
she was such a wonderful aunt to Lilly and Ryker.
Another friend and family member are also dealing with not being
able to get pregnant with ease. It sucks.
So I would like to make a few suggestions about what to NOT say,
when you are with a group of women.

1.) Please refrain from complaining about how miserable you are pregnant.
This is a given. Pregnancy is not easy,but I can guarantee
you are NOT the first woman to carry a child.
This complaining is also VERY hurtful to those of us longing for children.

2.) Please do not put so much worry into the sex of your unborn child.
I was guilty of this with my first. I wanted a girl.
Little did I know that three years later,
I would be PRAYING to just have a healthy baby;
one devoid of brain abnormalities, that are not compatible with life,
and heart conditions that take away a seven week old baby's life.
Be grateful to have healthy, beautiful children.
That is what REALLY matters.

3.) Think before your speak. LOOK AROUND THE ROOM!
If there is another who is suffering because their arms are empty,
maybe talk with them instead of continuing the commiserating about having kids.

4.)Be grateful for your sleepless nights.
I wish I could have had just one sleepless night home with Ryker.
And I wish for just one more night with Lilly.
I remember going to bed after Lilly passed away,
and I kept waking thinking I could hear Lilly crying.
It was really hard.
Go home today. Look around you.
If you have been blessed to have the
pitter-patter of little feet in your home,
or have been able to feel the wonder of your unborn child moving inside of you,
just be grateful and realize that you are blessed.

I will get off my soap box now.
I am sorry if this injures or insults anyone, I just think there
are many of us that just do not know.
I am going to work on not being SO sensitive,
but I think many need to work on being MORE sensitive.
We are women, aren't we?