Lilly was the first to make me a mother (but if you ask my family, our dog Skip was our first child!) I was only about 3 or 4 months along when I had my first mother's day. I had no idea the challenges she would face or that she would not be there for the next mother's day. I loved being her Mom. I would dress in her in cute little outfits and I loved doing her hair. I would tote her along wherever I went and really was just a proud Momma.
I spent my second Mother's Day pregnant again, also about 3-4 months pregnant and missing Lilly. But I again was looking forward to being a Mom once again, still naive to the battles Ryker would face and sadly lose his life too. But it was a joyful day and I was grateful for my babies. This picture is the first time I held my precious and beautiful son. Miss you Ryker!
The next year, last year, the day became Barren Awareness Day. This is a day many women experience. I am aware of their suffering. We all suffer differently. Last year, I must be honest in saying I hated the thought of celebrating the day. You see, I was a Mom, but I did not have any children to celebrate the day with me.
This year, I celebrate the holiday as a Mother to our incredible miracle (who looks like and angel when he sleeps!) But I still look back and realize the many women who either cannot have children or are awaiting their own miracle. Be soft hearted and realize that although this is a day to celebrate our mothers, there are women who want to be mothers, and celebrating this day is like swallowing a huge piece of melon: it hurts and trying to keep it down is down-right painful. So happy mother's day to all of the Moms and those amazing women who long to be Moms. And lots of love to Collin's other Moms out there~you know who you are and know that you are loved!
