Lilly was the first to make me a mother (but if you ask my family, our dog Skip was our first child!) I was only about 3 or 4 months along when I had my first mother's day. I had no idea the challenges she would face or that she would not be there for the next mother's day. I loved being her Mom. I would dress in her in cute little outfits and I loved doing her hair. I would tote her along wherever I went and really was just a proud Momma.
I spent my second Mother's Day pregnant again, also about 3-4 months pregnant and missing Lilly. But I again was looking forward to being a Mom once again, still naive to the battles Ryker would face and sadly lose his life too. But it was a joyful day and I was grateful for my babies. This picture is the first time I held my precious and beautiful son. Miss you Ryker!
The next year, last year, the day became Barren Awareness Day. This is a day many women experience. I am aware of their suffering. We all suffer differently. Last year, I must be honest in saying I hated the thought of celebrating the day. You see, I was a Mom, but I did not have any children to celebrate the day with me.
This year, I celebrate the holiday as a Mother to our incredible miracle (who looks like and angel when he sleeps!) But I still look back and realize the many women who either cannot have children or are awaiting their own miracle. Be soft hearted and realize that although this is a day to celebrate our mothers, there are women who want to be mothers, and celebrating this day is like swallowing a huge piece of melon: it hurts and trying to keep it down is down-right painful. So happy mother's day to all of the Moms and those amazing women who long to be Moms. And lots of love to Collin's other Moms out there~you know who you are and know that you are loved!
Thank you for posting this. What a nice tribute to Collins birth mom-- and to those of us who dream of being mothers. I will live vicariously through your joy :)
ReplyDeleteHappy Mother's Day to you! I just posted about "Barren Awareness Day." Eight years of showing up to church on Mothers day, swallowing a lump, feeling like a failure, unworthy of motherhood, and like God had forgotten about me.
ReplyDeleteYou're road was certainly more difficult than mine, but I'm glad we both celebrated as mother's this year!
Your babies are all adorable.
ReplyDeleteCongrats on your adoption and your love for Collin's birth mother.
Have a wonderful Mothers day!
You are such a GREAT mom at that Em, I LOVE this. I can't even begin to imagine what last year was like for you, how happy I am that you have a very special reason to celebrate today. You deserve a special day. And I LOVE the pic of you guys, what a dang cute pic.
ReplyDeleteHey I have a gift for you, I missed your shower, was it last week?? I am so sorry! Thinking of you guys and sure to love you!
I am a day late, but I hope that your Mother's Day was grand. I thought of you cuddling and holding Collin tight. I can't but imagine that Lilly and Ryker were blowing you Angel Kisses from above.
ReplyDelete(HUGS)
I hope you had a great Mothers' Day! I started tearing up when the Primary was singing on Sunday. I can't wait till I have one of my own singing to me!
ReplyDeleteI hope you had a happy Mother's Day!!
ReplyDeleteCon cariño.
Silvia.
It is hard, to express my feelings about mom's day, so let me try and I apologize if too blunt. I know it is hard to not have a child, and some churches do make it too showy of a thing, but I don't understand how one could dread such a day, even if they have no children, they are still children, so do they not have a mom to celebrate about still? Just my thoughts, late to the party.
ReplyDelete~C