This waiting game we are in: it sucks. It is hard, it hurts, and I wish it was over. I wish I was awake right now, feeding little C instead of just having the case of "I can't sleeps. My mind won't stop." How I wish I was the lucky on getting up to change a wet diaper, or feed a hungry little guy (have I mentioned that he is growing rather quickly?) I wish I was the one who was getting all the smiles and maybe some coos. It hurts, and I wish it did not have to. I am starting to believe that it may not be till our "appointement/meeting" (or maybe even after?) on the 8th of April that we will be able to bring him home. I was wandering the baby section of Target, (as I often do) and there were some funny little First Easter outfits, but I could not bring myself to buy anything like that, because the last time we bought him a holiday outfit was for St. Patrick's day, (which we were able to dress him in) but it just hurt to have to think we would not be able to really enjoy it. I know I should be grateful that he will be ours, but I never knew the waiting would be so hard or so long. I think some of my frustrations stem from being house-bound because of sickness this last week. I HATE being sick, and I hated Mike being sick too. But that's life, right? My buggest thing to look forward to right now (because it is the one vice that will not fail me) is awaiting the arrival of the cute and chic little Oi Oi diaper bag (and if you google Oi Oi, you will realize how sinful I was in lusting after the cute bag!) Anyways, I am off to blog-land for hopefully some uplifting stories and tales. Good-night!
*P.S. I am pretty needy right now, I will admit it. So please leave me some upbeat and positive comments and cheer us on. We are trying so hard to not lose hope or faith, or get discouraged. So as one of my E-BFF put's it: Validate me!
I'm sorry the wait is hurting you. When you finally have your beautiful baby in your arms you aren't going to remember the hurt you feel but instead will be filled with love for your new baby boy. I hope that day comes real soon for you. Hugs from Ohio.
ReplyDeleteI hope you don't have to wait much longer to have your cute baby at home!
ReplyDeleteCon cariño.
Silvia.
I am praying for you and hoping that you don't have to wait much longer.
ReplyDeleteFrom Florida,
Vivian
Emily... I really think that the two of you have learned PLENTY about patience and I hope that after little C is here you no longer have to be patient. LIKE EVER AGAIN!!! I totally get your frustration with missing these little holidays. And honestly.. maybe not buying one will mean that you will have him with you... and all the outfits will be sold out. LOL!! It's the fates of the universe and seriously... if you have to take your baby to church in a plain old outfit... at least you will be taking your baby to church! ;o) We are all rooting for you! We are even learning patience as well... very patiently, ALL of us are awaiting the first pics of your FAMILY all together!! :o)
ReplyDeleteGO GOURLEYS!!! BAby #3 is on his way! ;o)
Ok, so I watched ER last night and got teared up too! Although you'd have thought it would have been the HLHS girl instead of the Tetralogy girl ended up in the ER. My mind turned to you about the adoption issue too.
ReplyDeleteKeep your chin up. Hopefully time will pass more quickly than it has been for you and soon that little boy will be in your arms.
You guys are amazing and have been so patient. I'm praying you don't have to be patient much longer and you'll have your sweet boy in your arms soon.
ReplyDeleteKim
Oh, Emily dear....You are completely validated!! The waiting game is the worst...but it will be worth it in the end. You are the best mommy. I have put in a few calls to friends who have adopted about adoption baby books. I'll keep you posted!
ReplyDeletehugs and kisses!
Melissa
You can do it! It must be so hard, after waiting so long for the opportunity to adopt, to have your little guy so close and have to wait even more. But you can do it! You're so close now- I also hope and pray that you won't have to be patient too much longer. Also, that diaper bag is adorable. :)
ReplyDelete-Kasia
Ok a funny story. My DDs are 4 and 7 they were hard to bring to this world but thats a different story. they were on the floor having a tickle war the 4 year old yelled I am all wet what did you pour on me. My 7yo said nothing then stood up and said I think i peed my pants. I look and yup that is why they were both wet. it was hilarious. I hope that makes waiting a little easier. at least made you smile! Just to let you know I will me fating for you Sun. youve been so strong youre an insiration.
ReplyDeleteThis sucks! I'm so sorry you have to wait... just hurry up and wait. I hate that. But I love you and you are amazing and you'll get through this. I really hope you don't have to wait much longer. I can totally understand about the whole buying outfits thing. I remember wanting to buy Kynslee a halloween outfit, a thanksgiving outfit, a christmas outfit, etc., but knowing that I just DON'T know whats going to happen. I actually bought her some CUTE summer outfits that I was so excited to dress her in, but she didn't make it to that season. It hurts to look at the clothes and think of that, but at the same time, I wanted to buy them for her, to feel like a "normal" mom. Its so hard. But you will have little C with you soon! And then I will come over and shower you will gifts! :) I just can't tell you how happy I am for you guys. This is so exciting! I know it's been exciting for a long time now... but keep hanging in there! And please let me know how I can help! :) Love ya!
ReplyDeleteI don't know you, but I just found your blog. My name is Liz and I had an HLHS baby that passed on Feb 9th, 2009. I'm so, so sorry for your losses. I ust wanted to let you know that I was on your blog, since you were worried! :) Thanks,
ReplyDeleteLiz (Jakes Mom)
I am sorry this is so long and drawn out for you guys. Sending hugs & prayers your way!
ReplyDeleteAlthough I've never met you, I think about you all the time. I'll keep praying for the wait to be over very soon. Hang in there! Many people are cheering for you as you endure this trial.
ReplyDeleteYour sweet family is in my thoughts and prayers. Thank you so much for sharing your amazing story. You are inspiring to all of us!
ReplyDeleteWe are praying for you guys! You are so strong! I really look up to you Em! I hope the waiting is too much longer...
ReplyDeleteStill praying for you! Sending lots of love and support from St.George, Love, Kelsi
ReplyDeleteWhy do we have to be given lessons with patience over, and over again! There should be a max amount of said lessons! Don't these people know that you NEED him and you need him NOW?!?! I'm irritated so I can only imagine how you must feel!
ReplyDeleteI stumbled upon your blog from some "heart moms" and my heart seriously breaks for you. Right straight in two. I lost my little boy 10 months ago and I thought it would kill me. To have lost two children and you are still alive. You are my hero. Truly. I hope that your arms will be filled with the most perfect little child.
ReplyDeleteYou are strong, we all know it! That is why we visit your blog.. We all draw strength and drive forward more easily, as we see the trails of others and they prevail.. I have changed because of your family and your trails.. My testimony is stronger and I have learned to have more empathy for others lives.. Stay strong you are good at it:)
ReplyDeleteP Family