I know. And I am sorry. (Photo-Bomb)

With my computer on the fritz, as well as my children with the nasty bugs they seem to get (Jacob especially) I have not been able to post.And honestly, I started this almost a month ago. My boys keep me busy, both during the night and day! Someday I will sleep, right?

And looking at these pictures, I cannot believe how much bigger Jacob is from these, in just a month's time! He has chubbier cheeks and thighs. And he sits all by himself (falls once-in-awhile) and has NO interest in being on his belly without crying and crying. He would rather butt-scoot around!

We saw the pulmonologist, and he said Jacob is doing well, but will not diagnose asthma until he is a year old, so we go back in October. He wants him to be tested for allergies in August, so we will do that than. He goes back to cardiology next month, and hopefully he will get a clean bill of health and move to once a year visits.

We had a new niece join the family two weeks ago tomorrow. Her name is Suzie and we just adore her! Not too many nieces on my side. Lilly was the first, and than the only other little gal is my one year old cute niece Khloe! Gotta love all the boys we seem to have.

Collin is so cute and smart. He can be the biggest stinker and sweetest guy in mere moments. I love the sweetness he brings to our home. He reminds us to bless the food, and to read scriptures. And he still loves books and Disney movies, oh, and Curious George. He and Jacob take baths together, and he loves his little brother. He just absorbs everything and still has not said a swear word, a miracle with a mother like me! (I hate to admit it, but I occasionally swear, using an occasional sh**, dam*, or hell.)

We got our garden in (thanks to our amazing ward!) and still love living in our house. We love being able to let the boys play and be outside.

The biggest news for me is : I am going back to school. This is big for me, because what I want to be (I have finally figured it out at 27!) is a Physician's Assistant. I contemplated medical school, but decided it was not fair or a good fit for me or my family. So I am going back this fall for some on-line classes, and will starting full-time in the winter. I will probably go year round, so that I can be done and apply for the school. I have to get my bachelors, probably in a humanities area and than my senior year I can apply to a PA program. They only have 1 PA program here in Utah, 2 in Idaho, I think 2 in Arizona, and about 20 programs 2-3 hours from where I grew up outside of DC. So there is a good chance we will have to move away in a few years to attend school. The three years will pass quickly. There is a chance I could get into University of Utah's PA program, but since it is tied for the second ranking in the entire US for PA schools, I cannot count on it.

With going to PA school in a few years, I decided that with the competitive interview process and the nature of being a PA and working with patients to become healthy, I figured I needed to start with myself. So about 2 1/2 weeks ago, I started walking 3-4 times a week (1-2 hour walks) and eating the best I have ever eaten. And I have already lost 7 pounds. So I will be continuing that.

I think that is a good start with coming back to blogging. I am not promising that I will be perfect, but I will do better!

Jacob and Collin

So I know I have been, well, not so great at updating about our comings and goings. So here we go.

Jacob will be 6 months on the 20th of this month (crazy, huh?!) He is so sweet. Everyone who gets to watch him always tells me how happy he is, so smiley, and just such a chill baby. 

That is exactly what he is (except when really sick.) I can tell his lungs are not exactly up to par, especially when fighting the junk, and so we will be seeing the pulmonologist next month. I can not even find a picture of Jacob smiling, as the second the camera or phone is in his face, he gets this puzzled look. 

He sleeps pretty well when he feels good, waking one to two times a night (usually around 10 pm and than again at 5, but has slept once 10 hours straight and will sleep usually around 7 hour stretches at night.)

I love his cute chubby thighs. They are so squishy and oohhh so squeezable!!! 

 

 

Jacob rolls over when he wants to (never on demand :) and will "talk" to you and tell you stories. He loves to bat at toys, loves to be read to, sadly loves to try and find the TV when it is on, has tried baby oatmeal twice, but just seems to like his milk. Jacob is in size 6-12 months clothes (he has chubby thighs and a round middle) and it just kills me when he grows out of clothes. He gets so excited when you talk to him, and is constantly marching. praying, and eating his hands (he kicks his legs and we call it marching, and he always has his hands clasped  like he is praying so my sister tells him he is praying!) 

 

He loves his Dad, might adore his mom a smidge more, and sometimes wonders "what the heck?" in regards to Collin. He loves his baths, which I am not sure why as he takes them with his brother and they get a bit crazy. He just loves to hang out, does not really fuss or cry. He just is a happy little guy. 

 

His cousin Ryan is only 5 physical weeks older, but technically about two months with Jacob being a month early, but Ryan is such a tank that Jacob just dwarfs in comparison, as he is about 2 pounds lighter.

 

 

Collin has quite the personality. Never a dull day or moment with this little boy. He can be such a little turd and such a sweetheart, all at once. We have been working on potty training, something he surprisingly is catching easily on to. He loves, loves, loves to be outside. His favorite part of being outside is seeing our neighbor's chickens. He will hear them and get so excited. He also likes to pick any blooming flowers. 

 

He loves Jacob, although sometimes he loves him so much it hurts Jacob (thank-goodness he is so easy going!) He adores his Grandparents, and pretty much every other family member. He constantly begs to see the Grandparents and Tatum, Heather, Cody, Mimi, Abby, Gracie, Xander, Klo-klo (Khloe) Amanda, Millie, Meggie and Jim, and will be terribly sad when he has to leave anyone's presence. He tells us he has "fun" when he comes home from visiting anywhere, and just amazes us with just how smart he is. They grow and learn so much, so very quickly. He no longer sleeps in his crib. We moved him to his big boy bed when we moved, but he would still nap in his crib up until about 3 weeks ago, when he started refusing. He remembers books, the words used repetitively in them, and will remember the next day if you tell him the night before that he gets to go somewhere or visit someone. It is incredible just how much he remembers. 

Anyways, we love our two little boys so very much and are longing for the warmer weather so we can continue to be outside. So that's about it for now!

I wish......

that I could do this....

and this......

and this....

 and this.....

and this....

If I only had this.

So I am hoping to win it from here, and maybe someday, I will be able to do all of that!

*All images used from some very talented letterpress artists via Etsy!

My Life-Long Struggle (Continued)

Here I am, one month into my goal of losing weight, and I am down 8-10 lbs (depending on the time of day.) What am I currently doing? Because I have a lot to lose, I decided I just 100% just need to get more active, which means getting out of my house, off my computer, and doing something. I have been eating better, I've only had a real fast food meal once, and have cut down on the sweets. I have been walking (I even walked to the grocery store today:), took a Zumba class, and have been doing a lot of yard work.  But I think it is time to up my weight loss challenge. I was reading one of the local newscaster's Facebook page and she is doing a 30 day no treats/candy/junk-food challenge, and I am thinking I will do it right along with her. I know it will suck, but I think it will be the necessary jump-start I need. Now the question is, do I throw out all of the junk in my house and make Mike kind of  do it along with me, at least while he is at home, or do I face myself with the temptation every time I walk into the kitchen?

I am still working on my video, and have to get it done and in pretty quickly as the deadline is looming (this Friday!) So I am getting on it, and will get it done!  My goal for this week is to work on portion control.  I am thinking about opening my weight loss blog up and just letting it out there. It's time to be accountable for where I am. Now if I could just work on the sleep factor......

"Hey Girl~You are Beautiful!!!"

So I have been trying to work on my video for the Biggest Loser. I am a big girl, obviously, or I would not be going out for the Biggest Loser. My sister shared a video with me, from the singer Mika, and I love it. I know I have to change, and I am making those steps to change. But something that I will have to learn to do, no matter what my size is, is to learn to love myself. So here you go,



I live in an area where I have never seen such an emphasis on how good you look. I am sure it can be chalked up to a culture where everyone is trying to be so perfect, trying to have the best house, the best jobs, the best gardens, the cutest Sunday clothes, and most important: the best body. I would be lying if I told you that losing weight was not about looking cuter, or being able to fit into cuter clothing. It is a 100% added perk, but mainly I need to be healthy for my family. I grew up with an obese mother, and I do not want my kids to have that. So just as I will lose this weight, pound by pound, I will learn to love me for me, fat or not, a little bit more each day.Because hey big girl, you are beautiful (and you lucky skinnies out there too!)

*BTW, I may or may not have danced to this song in a sports bra and tight shorts. I shudder now at the thought. :P  *

Craziness in Life

I have not posted in a little while. Life just gets a bit crazy. Mostly, besides playing with kids, fighting the never-ending war on laundry, and than trying to keep up with housework, I have been spending my time on the phone with various medical offices we have been blessed to frequent. By the end of this year, we will have PAID $14,000 in medical costs over the last 5 years. It makes me want to cry. And we are fortunate to have insurance, because that 5 day $10,000 fancy stay in Pediatrics 3-4 weeks ago would have alone pretty much bankrupted us. I know it can be worse, and I am grateful for my kids, but paying these bills reminds me so much of having Lilly and Ryker and having to pay for them, long after they had passed away. And I felt like it was so unfair. And I feel like it is still so unfair. To me, it feels like I am putting a price tag on my children, and they are just so priceless to me. It is silly that this brings up so much emotion and feeling, but it just does.

My other occupation right now is weight loss and trying to get a video done for the biggest loser. I just do not feel very creative about this project, and what I want to convey is something so precious to me. The story of my children is just such a story and I am not sure what words to convey the love, the emotion, and the awe of how special they are, and how the loss and stress has made me an emotional eater. And I need it to be amazing, to get the casting directors' attention. I know it will be so hard to leave my family, but while reading a book "Running With Angels", which is a book where I feel like I am nearly reading my own words and stories, I have realized I need to be a little selfish and take that time for me. So cross your fingers, offer suggestions for what to do for this video, and help me to be able to do it. It had been long overdue to reclaim my health.

I will have to post some pictures this week, because Collin turned one and Jacob turned 5 months yesterday!

Blog Links

So my blog still is not finished with the updates, since in the midst of making the changes I got sick, and than Jacob was put in the hospital. But I managed to lose my links to the blogs of my friends, families, and more with the changes. So could you all please leave a post with the link, so that I can re-link (or you can also e-mail me at littleforeverfamily@gmail.com!) Thank-you, I hate not being able to read what is happening with everyone!