Just Call Me Silly

You know how much I love contests. And you know how much I love to win. So here is another one, although a lot smaller scale than others, it would still be exciting to win. I know I am biased, and I know that not everyone may think Collin is way cute, but we just adore him. There is a really fun contest going on over at wildfire for three different prizes. They all are canvased pictures, with them using a picture of your choice. These are not cheap, and it would be kind of fun to be able to win. Alls you have to do is vote for Collin. Just click HERE and vote for Collin. See, nice and easy!!!

Our Seven Month Old

Our Happy Guy!!!

I can not believe Collin is already seven months. It just flies by so quickly. We are finalizing the week of October the 12th, and his sealing is October 16th. He learned how to crawl about 3 weeks ago, and it never ceases to amaze me how big he is getting. I swear I have never seen a happier baby. Yesterday he could not stop squealing in delight and showing off his adorable triple dimples. I love how angelic he looks when asleep.
I love the snuggles when he is tired or hungry. He likes to hold his bottle a lot, but we try not to push it and hold it for him most of the time, hanging on to the few baby moments we have. He seems to always be crashing into things (I guess that goes hand-in-hand with a new crawler!) On Sunday alone, he bonked his head 4 times. Collin loves to play with his toys, and just crawl/roll around and reach for other ones. He enjoys being read to, but would like you to read while he sucks on the books and turns the pages:)!

Gracie and Collin hanging out!

Collin also loves to hang out with cousins and Grandparents. I think the cousins have the slight advantage because the two that live in Utah currently are girls, and he loves the girls, from newborn to the little 93 year old lady at church! I stole this picture from my sister-in-laws blog, but it is just too cute of Gracie and Collin to not share!!!


He still takes about 2 to 3 naps a day, and is getting pretty good at soothing himself to sleep as needed. He weighs in at about 18 pounds, and for height and weight loves to hang out in the median percentile of about 50-60% (quite honestly I do not get into the numbers since I have learned that each child is different and grows differently, especially with heart kids.) Collin loves Skip, and Skip seems to love Collin. I always worried how the"first baby" would react to a real baby that was here 24/7. But they are the best of friends, with Skip unknowingly making Collin laugh and giggle whenever he does something in the least bit amusing.

Sitting and waiting patiently to be fed!!!

Collin loves food, and grunts at you when he wants some (or a toy.) We are starting to teach him a few signs, so hopefully that will help him communicate a little better. Collin will chew/suck on EVERYTHING, which than causes a drool fest, so it is just something we just deal with. He is such a sweet heart, and really, we could not be happier. He will be an only child for a little while, and although I am trying to not be selfish, I have to be somewhat selfish so that I can lose weight and be healthier before another comes along. Plus, we always want Collin to realize how special he is to us, that genetics are not all that important to us, and just want to be able to spend the one-on-one time with our little sweetheart.
(*Sorry for the quality of pictures: our camera's flash died so eventually we will get it fixed or just have to replace it!*)

Just have to put in a plug for our adoption fundraiser. I'm not sure how well we will do but any support is appreciated! I'd better sign off and get to work on making some cute burp clothes and finishing some quilts! Hopefully we will see a few of there Saturday!!!

Adoption Fundraiser

I realize that a lot of people adopt, and a lot of people have some very expensive adoptions (legal wise, that is!) We feel blessed to not have to fight any family members for custody and such, but adoption still is not cheap. We are really realizing this, so after some thoughts about what to do, we have decided to do an adoption fundraiser. So this Saturday, starting at 8:00 am in American Fork, we will be having an adoption fundraiser. We will have food, homemade quilts and blankets, kids clothing, car seat cover-ups, decorations for your home, more food, bows/headbands, and so much more!!!! So please come and show your support.

*If you are interested in donating household items or any baked goods, please e-mail me at littleforeverfamily@gmail.com. We are grateful for any donations! Remember: someone else's junk is another man's treasure!!! Spread the word!!!

Baby Steps

My week is coming to an end. I feel like I am making baby steps toward a healthier way of life. I also feel that if I am somewhat accountable for what I have done or what I have not, I will do better, thus I will become healthier faster. I apologize in advance, because I know this is probably boring to most of you but it is something I need to do. I did two days of the Body 4 Change program, and another day of cardio exercise. I probably should have exercised more, but I know that next week will be better. But the biggest change is food. Again, no, I was not perfect. I still partook in that scrumptious cookie at my sister-in-laws shower along with one piece of the yummy homemade white bread. And yes, today I may have had another chocolate chip cookie. But in looking back at my old habits, I probably would have had at least two cookies at the shower (along with partaking the other scrumptious looking desserts!), probably three pieces of white bread, and probably have eaten both of the cookies that were on the dessert plate today. But I did eat a lot more fruits, a lot more veggies, and I probably drank a couple of gallons of water. The biggest achievement is that I have not had a drink if pop since Monday. For those of you who know me well, you would understand how big that is. It is a hard adjustment to go off breads, pastas, sugars, pops, when in the past these have been essentially food groups for me. It is changing my mind set that food is pleasure, when food is supposed to be something that gives energy and nourishes the body. I just never would have guessed that food was such an emotional part of my life. There is still a HUGE part of me that screams that I need to eat something, when it is just because I am not really hungry, just bored or it is just the time I normally would have had a dessert. So I am going to make two goals for nest week. The first is that I will exercise 5 times, and the second is that I will do better at not succumbing to the sweets. Hopefully next week will continue to be an improvement. Thank-you to all of you who have shown such support. It means a lot to me.

Mourn With Those That Mourn

*I just want to pre-warn you that this is a somewhat sad post. It also has some pictures of Ryker after he had passed away. I promise my next post will be warm and friendly.*

With both Lilly's and Ryker's funerals, one of the most touching parts was walking into the Chapel and seeing so many who loved us and who loved our children, to see them all there, supporting us and loving us. I am a firm believer to "mourn with those that mourn." I do not enjoy funerals. I especially do not enjoy funerals of little ones. But I have been taught to mourn with others when they are mourning.

Our wonderful Mothers, trying their best to take the ache away.

I think it would have been very sad if I had walked into the chapel those two times and seen only a few people. It is already a time when you feel alone, you feel an ache for the loved ones you have lost. When you lose a child, you feel the ache along with the ache of empty arms.

My best friend Courtney and best friend Abby holding Ryker.

The day Lilly passed away, all of our close friends and family surrounded us for a day and a half. With Ryker, although it was very quick, all of our family/friends rushed the long way to Primary's to make it there. Some of them did not make it in time. Besides my Mom, Mike and I, nobody held Ryker alive. So after he had passed, it was their first time to hold our little miracle in their arms.

Mike, Ryker, and his two sisters.

And although it was especially hard for many, they came to mourn with us.
Today was another funeral. The good thing I can say about this funeral is that it is only the third this year from our heart group. How sad my life has become to think that only 3 children's funerals is a small number.

My sister and her husband holding Ryker for the first time.

Prior to Lilly's funeral, I had only ever been to one other child's funeral and it was my 4 year old cousin that sadly drowned. This sweet Princess is Cali Orrock. She was also born with Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome. She was just 7 days old when she earned her wings. I took Collin with me. I showed him the sweet princess. I will never attend a funeral without him. While so many of us were sad and emotional, he was happy, and playful, and just kept looking around. I know that he was seeing others that we could not. I was envious, envious to be able to see the many angels I know were in attendance. Every time the tears would come, he would start to giggle or make faces, and I could not be sad with that. The spoken words were comforting, the music peaceful. And Collin made many smile through the tears. I find it interesting to go to other's funerals, because I think "oh, I love that they did that!" (I hope I never have to plan another funeral, but if I did, I would definitely have a butterfly release!) Little Cali's graveside service was very tender. I loved that they blew bubbles and released a butterfly for each day that she was alive. And the tender words spoken brought many the peace that was and is needed. Anyways, I just wanted to share some thoughts and feelings. I hope you all did not find this too depressing. Like I said, I promise I will make the next post a happy one.

Sometimes the Little Things Matter

I feel like since this picture, I have learned a lot and grown a lot. We were so young. We had the world at our feet. I never would have even guessed that nearly five years later that we would have buried two children, and be about to finalize an adoption on our third. With both Lilly and Ryker, they taught us a lot. A lot of what they taught us has stuck with us each day, but sometimes we need the gentle reminders of the little things. You see, little things add up to big things. I accidentally hurt someone's feelings today. I did not mean too. I hope that no one ever does. I can make excuses, but it still leaves someone hurting. I tried apologies, but the apologies did no good. It was something little, but like I said, sometimes the little things add up to big things. I hate having people upset at me. I may get mad, but I do not stay upset long. I get over it. I guess I forget people are not all the same.
The other little things that matter are family. I sometimes struggle with this. I am not always the best wife, mother, sister, daughter, and friend. I try, sometimes harder than other times. With Lilly and Ryker, each day, every minute, even every second we had them was miraculous.

Holding my little princess for the first time. Truly amazed at her strength.

Those small moments add up to the days, weeks, and eventually the small window of time that we had with them. I miss them. I miss them everyday. But going what we went through forced me to grow. Growth can hurt. But with that hurt, comes something bigger. We begin to do things we never thought possible. We said goodbye to Lilly.

Amazed at what out little fighter was doing. What a miracle!

One year and one month later, we said goodbye to Ryker. Saying goodbye a second time seemed like the most impossible thing we ever had to do. Collin is in our home because we stepped out of what we knew and embraced the unknown of adoption. I am stepping out of my comfort zone, pushing myself like I have never pushed myself, attempting to become something I have known in a long time: a happier healthier me (and I must say being able to find jeans that fit will be a miracle!
What I am trying to say is this: although we are told to not sweat the small stuff, isn't the small stuff what makes up the big stuff? I think that being kind in the big picture starts by being kind with the smaller things. I hope this makes sense. It might not, but that's okay.

Under Construction

Just an FYI before you look twice, I am changing some things on our blog. I will still post but the look of the blog is under construction! Maybe I will do a giveaway once it is up and running to it's full capacity!!! See you soon!