Mourn With Those That Mourn

*I just want to pre-warn you that this is a somewhat sad post. It also has some pictures of Ryker after he had passed away. I promise my next post will be warm and friendly.*

With both Lilly's and Ryker's funerals, one of the most touching parts was walking into the Chapel and seeing so many who loved us and who loved our children, to see them all there, supporting us and loving us. I am a firm believer to "mourn with those that mourn." I do not enjoy funerals. I especially do not enjoy funerals of little ones. But I have been taught to mourn with others when they are mourning.

Our wonderful Mothers, trying their best to take the ache away.

I think it would have been very sad if I had walked into the chapel those two times and seen only a few people. It is already a time when you feel alone, you feel an ache for the loved ones you have lost. When you lose a child, you feel the ache along with the ache of empty arms.

My best friend Courtney and best friend Abby holding Ryker.

The day Lilly passed away, all of our close friends and family surrounded us for a day and a half. With Ryker, although it was very quick, all of our family/friends rushed the long way to Primary's to make it there. Some of them did not make it in time. Besides my Mom, Mike and I, nobody held Ryker alive. So after he had passed, it was their first time to hold our little miracle in their arms.

Mike, Ryker, and his two sisters.

And although it was especially hard for many, they came to mourn with us.
Today was another funeral. The good thing I can say about this funeral is that it is only the third this year from our heart group. How sad my life has become to think that only 3 children's funerals is a small number.

My sister and her husband holding Ryker for the first time.

Prior to Lilly's funeral, I had only ever been to one other child's funeral and it was my 4 year old cousin that sadly drowned. This sweet Princess is Cali Orrock. She was also born with Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome. She was just 7 days old when she earned her wings. I took Collin with me. I showed him the sweet princess. I will never attend a funeral without him. While so many of us were sad and emotional, he was happy, and playful, and just kept looking around. I know that he was seeing others that we could not. I was envious, envious to be able to see the many angels I know were in attendance. Every time the tears would come, he would start to giggle or make faces, and I could not be sad with that. The spoken words were comforting, the music peaceful. And Collin made many smile through the tears. I find it interesting to go to other's funerals, because I think "oh, I love that they did that!" (I hope I never have to plan another funeral, but if I did, I would definitely have a butterfly release!) Little Cali's graveside service was very tender. I loved that they blew bubbles and released a butterfly for each day that she was alive. And the tender words spoken brought many the peace that was and is needed. Anyways, I just wanted to share some thoughts and feelings. I hope you all did not find this too depressing. Like I said, I promise I will make the next post a happy one.