Lazy Blogger

I have been a lazy blogger the last week. I would like to say I am sorry, but because the reason I was being a lazy blogger was because I was too busy tending my nieces and nephews, I'm not:). I even got to tend my three week old nephew over-night! As I sat awake at around 1 a.m., I realized that I truly am baby-hungry. Anytime you are up in the middle of the night, feeding a newborn, and loving being awake with him or her, I think you can truly say that you are baby hungry.(It doesn't hurt that he is a really behaved baby, letting you get some sleep in-between feeds and diaper changes; Lilly loved to be awake during the night, so we spent many sleepless nights praying for a bit of sleep!) I really think there is nothing better then holding a sweet baby in your arms and the smiles. Every Monday I also get to tend my nephew. It was a double treat yesterday because I also got to watch my niece Gracie. Both of them LOVE to smile and it just melts the heart the second they do. It is crazy the love you can have for someone so small, and so new. With Lilly and Ryker, it was a different kind of bonding. I began to know them over the course of nine months. But the love I have to them is nearly the same love I have for my nieces and nephews. I would do anything to protect them, anything! I just can not wait till we finally have our third miracle.
I just pray that no-matter what, they are healthy!

Loving life.

Although January is usually my least favorite month of the year (freezing-butt cold temperatures, snow-storms that test your patience to no-end, taking down the Christmas lights and tree, :( sad!,) I seem to be enjoying January more then I have in any previous year. So here a few of the great things to come!

I did not vote for Obama, but I am excited to have a new president sworn in in just a few weeks, (one of these reasons being is that no matter what you think about the current president, he is in need of a LONG vacation and I just want both of the sides to stop pointing fingers as to who put the country in the current predicament we are in!). I hope that he will bring the peace and stability this nation needs.

I am also excited/sad that school is starting again. Don't get me wrong, I love going to school, and it does truly makes me feel like I am accomplishing something. I just do not like the busy work it can bring.

I am also excited about losing the weight. I did go up almost a pound yesterday, but I came back down today. I know that my weight is something I will always have to be careful about, but it feels good to be moving in the right direction for the first time in awhile. What I need to do now is to get my butt walking!

My thoughts also turn to what this year will bring for Mike and me in terms of our family growing. I had to switch over our adoption profile to the new one LDS family services is switching too. I am not sure if our next child will be adopted, but I do know that we WILL adopt. I know this because of the overwhelming feeling I feel every time I do anything that correlates with adoption. It fills my heart till I feel like I will burst!

Lastly, I think also I am enjoying this time of year because although sad, we did not have Lilly or Ryker during January. So unlike the fall, there is not the constant bombardment of memories that seem at times so overwhelming. Anyways, just know we are doing better then we have been in awhile.

*Please keep our niece Gracie in your prayers for the next week. She is having some procedures and we know that although they are life-threatening, you just never know. So pray she will be just fine and that they will also be able to restore some of her hearing loss! She is such a sweetie! How can your heart help but melt when she flashes you this gorgeous smile! You can not help but just love her!

And we have a winner!

And the winner is............................
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Ashley, Nic, and Mercydez!
Congratulations! You are the proud winner of
one of the many prizes of you choice! You also
are getting stuck with actually going to dinner
with us (or having us bring some yummy food to
you house) whichever you choose! Congrats and
here's to a 100 more posts!

100th Post!!!

Wow, 100! I can not believe so many have listened to my ramblings over 100 posts! So what did I want to post to celebrate my 100th post? Honestly, a huge thank-you! Thank-you for reading my posts and commenting. It is honestly the best feeling to see your comments and feel all of your support.
Just wanted to give a few shout-outs to my friends!
Thank-you Nicole and Amy for always being there! You two are awesome and I feel privileged to count you as friends!
Thank-you to my new blogging buddies,Where-are-my-angels mama and Lee Lee News Momma, who I not only count as friends but they are also inspirational women of truly amazing kids that have overcome quite a bit. If I were Catholic, I would put in for both of them to be sainted! Thank you too for your comments!
I would like to say thank-you too for my new friend Sylvia, from Spain, who writes beautiful English and is always posting a comment. I do not think I ever told you that my brother went to Madrid on an LDS mission, so Spain holds a special place in my heart.
Thank-you to heart friends-there are so many of you that we love and adore!
Thank-you to best friends. You know who you are. We may not always see eye-to-eye, but we are still here together. I love each and every one of my best friends. Our friendship was forged long before our boys came along, and that means something! So here's a thank-you to sistas'-from-otha-mistas'!!!
My final thank-you is to the two who inspire me each day to get out of bed and try, my sweet Lilly and Ryker. I love you and miss you. Thank-you for protecting me and comforting me. And thank-you to their father, the love of my life; whom without, I would not be who I am!

The last part of my 100th post is to share my first adoption burn that I never shared. When Mike and I were teetering as to whether put in our papers or not, a situation came along that directly pushed us into adoption. A young mother of already one met with us and asked us to be adoptive parents to her unborn child. We were elated, and hurried to get the papers in and put the $1000 in to make it happen. Well, I will say I am thankful she cut us off then, but also it still hurts. She told us she felt good about it, she wanted me to go to the appts. with her, all that. I saw her again that week, and we were supposed to go to lunch and meet her Mom. I am thankful that it ended there, and she is not changing her mind now, hurting us even more. A great friend Lori (the only other woman besides myself and my mother-in-law to clean up Mike's puke) claims she will be sent off to a not such a nice place (we all know where!) She is due this week, sadly is delivering EXACTLY at the same place I work. I am just praying I do NOT see her. It would hurt to see the baby who could have been my son. Anyways, I am grateful for all of you and here's to many more posts!

*You have 24 hours to get your comment in. Whoever is chosen, I will post their name and you can send me your info as to what you want and where to ship/drop it off (depending on your location!) So at 10:45 p.m. mountain time, have your comments in!

A Great Dream.

This is my 99th post-can you believe it? So I am going to do something to celebrate my 100th post. I am debating between a nursing cover-up, a child's handmade crocheted hat (super cute), a headband, or baby's bracelet. As you can tell, all I know is how to do baby things. What I think I will do is have anyone who wants to participate post their name. I will then allow a certain amount of time (say 24 hrs)to get your names in. All your names will be put into a hat and I will have Mike draw one. So remember, on the 100th post, post within 24 hrs after and you will be entered into the draw. You will then be allowed to pick the prize. Maybe to be fair, for those non-baby folks, I will also give the option of a whole whoppin' five dollar bill!
I had an AWESOME dream last night! It has been a LONG time since I have had such an amazing dream. I woke up, wanting so bad to fall back asleep or just have it be true. It was so real, it took me awhile to realize the dream wasn't reality. I was at the hospital, and because I had delayed going in, there was not enough time for a c-section. (Now you know why I loved the dream, I was pregnant!!!)So I delivered vaginally. I remember walking around the room, feeling so good and being glad I did not hurt!!! My little baby girl was so cute, and she was healthy. I was getting her ready to go home when I woke up. It makes me soo baby hungry!! I know, I know, I need to get healthy. And getting pregnant again scares me. Anyways, just want to have that dream some more!

Top Scariest Moment of my Life.

Last night, we had a sugar bowl party at Mike's parent's house. It was a lot of fun, and we were excited to see the Utes win (even though we are die-hard BYU fans!) There was lots of yummy food, and this truly was a STRONG test of willpower. I kept thinking, "well it's only ONE chip, or ONE dip in the yummy cream-cheese/caramel apple dip." But I overcame the obstacle, and I was pleased when I weighed myself this morning and am down three pounds already. Anyways, our fun night came to literally a crashing end while I was going down the stairs and fell down about 8 steps. This would be scary in and of itself because I rolled down, but what was horrible and most frightening was that I had my six month old niece Gracie (the same niece who has Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome) in my arms with her oxygen tank being carried on my side. I have never been so frightened before. I truly know that Lilly and Ryker were there protecting us, because she only came out with a little knot at the back of her head and a red mark on the front. I think I scared her more screaming at the top of my lungs because I was so afraid I was going to crush her. Honestly, she screamed more the other day when I was changing her diaper-rashed bottom. After wards, Deanna just had me hold her, and when the adrenaline wasn't flowing and I realized how banged up I was, so we layed her on the ottoman. She seriously just sat there and smiled at me for the next 20 minutes. I am SO grateful she is okay. I got beat up pretty good. Where I had the oxygen tank hanging on my right shoulder dinged up the whole right side of my body, and this morning I feel like I lost miserably to a boxing match. I am hoping I took the brunt of the fall and that she will be fine (which everyone keeps assuring me that she will be). The hardest part is feeling such guilt. This literally was my top scariest moment (the second was being bucked off a horse with a 64 year old special needs lady and having her land *thankfully* on top of me and the other being in a 5 passenger car with 7 girls and rolling the car at 2 in the morning out in the middle of no-where land in West Virginia.) So today I am thankful for the safety of my niece and the protection I know we were given.

New Years

I went to the doctor on Tuesday. I was so busy at work on Wednesday that I actually forgot to go downstairs and get my ultrasound, but my blood levels were good so I am not too concerned. My OBGYN thinks that I have Poly-Cystic Ovarian Disease (PCOS), which I have thought for awhile but he would not give me that diagnosis. He told me that as soon as I get to my desired weight he will put me on Clomid (a drug used to get pregnant). So who knows what will happen. It still makes us nervous to get pregnant again. I know Heavenly Father has given us two perfect angels, but we REALLY want a child that still needs to learn something here. It does not matter whether that is through adoption or pregnancy; really all that matters is just a healthy baby that we can have for a long time (a lot longer then 5 or 7 weeks!) Anyways, started the diet, so I will see what the next 21 days brings. I am getting a running start on my New Years goal to get healthy and lose weight! I hope too that our family will grow this next year. Those are my two hopes for 2009.