I've been tagged and so have some of you!!!

You can all thank Nicole for this one.
I have been tagged. Having never been tagged before, I hope I do not disappoint!

1. I love to do laundry! I hate to fold it unless it is folded PERFECTLY!!!

2. I love the fall, but my favorite time of year has become one of the hardest.
3. I have a sister that is 10 1/2 months younger then I. And yes, she just about walked on out!
4. My sister and I are currently both 24, but only for just one more week.
5. I was not born with ANY wisdom teeth and am missing two twelve year-old molars!
6. Up till September, I had not seen a movie in theater since before I was pregnant with Ryker. Movies make me miss my babies.
7. My two front-bottom teeth are still my baby teeth. They are teeny-tiny and I will at some point have to have implants. Also, my dentist told me it would cost a good 20 grand to get my teeth the way I would like them.
I now tag:
Ashley, Amy, Where'sMyAngels-Momma(I do not know your first name!!!), Erica, Keisa, Hollie, and Teaa!!!

She's Home!!!!

After 88 days, Gracie is home. Home with her Mom and Dad, and home with her sister. Home where she belongs. We are so proud of you Gracie!!! We love you and look forward to getting to know you, that much better!!! Keep the prayers coming, they still need them!!!

Brooklyn Bailey

This is the Bailey family. The little girl, centered in the middle of her family was across from our niece Gracie. She has earnerd her wings and has become truly a celestial being. This has saddened us much. I have not been my usual somewhat chipper self the last few days. Anytime I hear about the loss of a baby or child, it just breaks my heart. I understand the pain and wish I could take it away. It just plain sucks to lose a child. You go through the motions of life, realizing that very few people truly understand the pain. It is not something you get over. I often have people telling me how to mourn and not. They almost act as if they want you to only have happy moments, to remember only the good times. Little do they know that although that might be a great way to live, if it were possible, until they begin to walk in your shoes, (and I pray they never have to) you can not begin to understand the pain of losing something that is part of you, something you carried for nine months and after too short a time, have to say goodbye to. There is no seeing them on this earth again, and you are expected to move on. Truly, the best thing you can say to them is "I am sorry. That must realy be hard." I would never tell someone to move on. Maybe I would have, had I not had to experience the loss of two children. Lilly's and Ryker's anniversaries are coming too quick and too soon. What feels like it has been 10 years, yet it has only been two, and then one. We will get through the days. We will make the days as happy as possible. Things will be as good as they can. Brooklyn's services are as followed:

October 1st, 2008
Hurricane 4th ward building 1178 South 700 West Hurricane, UT 84737
Viewing @ 3:00 PM
Services @ 4:00 PM

October 2nd, 2008
Burial at Salt Lake City Cemetery 200 "N" St. Salt Lake City, UT 84103
Burial@ 11:00 AM
Meet at the entrance 10:45

To the Bailey family: we mourn for Brooklyn and for the loss your family has experienced. The days will be hard, and sometimes it may seem unbearable. But we will be there to help you, to hopefully lighten the load you are being asked to carry. She is beautiful and is truly a princess of the celestial kingdom. We miss her and pray for you.

To all of you readers, please keep this sweet family in your prayers. Thank-you.

Our Little Gracie

Well I am so happy we get to make this post. Our niece Gracie has done so well they may actually move her out of the PICU. This is a huge step for her!! She passed her swallow study and is doing great! Emily and I actually got to hold her for the first time, and I cant tell you the love and joy we felt in doing so. Just sitting there with this precious angel just staring at you brings tears to my eyes. We are so proud of you Gracie! I also know you have two special cousins also very proud of you! The doctors have talked about gracie being able to come home soon possibly also! So thank you all for your prayers on our and her behalf.

Fall.

It is amazing how the older you get, the faster time seems to fly. I love this time of year, always have, always will. I miss Ohio and West Virginia this time of year. I long for the outdoor craft shows and the home-made apple cider. The stunning color and mix of leaves. Falls in Utah are all too short. My birthday in also less then a month away. We got married in the fall. There is also somewhat of drawback to this time of year. It is a bittersweet feeling. The last two years, I have been VERY pregnant with Lilly and then Ryker, just so excited for them to come. I can not believe Lilly would be 2 years old next month, and that we would be celebrating Ryker's first birthday. I was walking into the grocery store tonight. I saw the pumpkins outside, and told Mike that if Ryker was still with us, I would have taken him to a pumpkin patch. The stabbing pain came all too hard then, the realization that these are memories we will never make with our babies. I hate when the pain comes, surprising and agonizing. I had already planned what Ryker would be for Halloween, since his first Halloween was spent undergoing his first heart surgery. I remember with Lilly, that we tried to find her a costume, but she was just so tiny so we had her wear one of her little outfits and put the matching Winnie-the-Pooh hat on with it. It is hard to not get frustrated, and wonder if we will ever be able to share and enjoy the things we love with our children, (on this earth). I guess we will just have to put forward the faith necessary to believe we will be parents again.

Adoption

We have been working on getting our adoption blog up and running. We had debated whether to keep it private or open it to everyone. We decided that for now, it would be best to continue to get the word out and share it with everyone! Suggestions are welcome (especially those who have gone through it or are going through it!) but really all comments are welcome. If you could also please place the link on your blogs (please, please, please!!!)
The site is: http://mikeandemilygourley.blogspot.com/

Ryker

Ryker came into this world, unexpectedly, on Saturday, October 27, 2007. We knew before hand that he was going to be born with a sever heart condition called Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome, which essentially meant he would be born with half a heart. They whisked him away immediately, through window and into the Newborn Intensive Care Unit. He looked so perfect, never knowing that inside his tiny heart there were such problems. He was given drugs to relax his heart, so that they could do surgery a short four days later. We held and loved him those short days before surgery.

Handing him over to the skilled surgeons was one of the hardest decisions of our lives. He endured the heart surgery, and was just so strong. Every obstacle that Ryker hit he would fight and overcome. His strong spirit was amazing and undoubted. His life nearly ended at a mere three weeks of age, with even the doctor telling us that he would not be able to overcome such a huge setback. But he did live and was stronger then before. Ryker was truly a miracle!

We loved to be with him, stroking his hair, singing to him, and just letting him feel of our love. . The day of his passing, started out wonderfully. We headed up there and awaited anxiously for the breathing tube to be removed in the hopes of finally being able to hold him and get him home. It was December 15, and he was exactly seven weeks old. They removed the breathing tube, and he was just doing wonderful. There were tears in the eyes of all in the room when we heard his meek cry. We went down to the cafe to get some lunch and hurried to get back up to be with him. When we got back to his room, we realized that there was something wrong and they were putting the breathing tube back in. We were assured things were going to be okay, but we could sense that this was not the case. We watched as his oxygen saturations dropped and dropped, calling family and pleading for them to hurry up to the hospital. We watched as the doctors and nurses tried to do what they could to save him, but we knew that we were going to have to say goodbye to him. The heart surgeon came to talk to us about options. We looked at each other, knowing that it truly was time to say goodbye to our sweet little boy. We gathered our family to hold him and say goodbye. In a short 13 months, we had said goodbye to our first and second child. We miss Ryker and look forward to when we will see him and his sister again.