35 Hours

Not that I am counting or anything, but we are down to 35 hours until our scan. Our sweet neighbor will be watching our boys, while Mike and I head in to Maternal Fetal Medicine. I am really hoping it is one of the techs we know so well, because the one we had last time was unfamiliar, and I need all the familiarity that is possible for this. I have been holding it together, but tonight, at around 5, I lost it. I started sobbing, and then became frustrated, and just wanted to hit something. This is why this baby has to be our last biologically, because I cannot do this physically or emotionally, and I am fairly sure Mike would have to have me committed. I am not sure I am going to be able to shake the anxiety now. I am just grateful my sister and brother-in-law are blessing their baby tomorrow, because it will a welcome distraction. I am just hoping this scan will bring peace. I think there will still be some nervousness, post appointment, with the details the fetal echo will bring, and because Jacob's issues did not show up until he was 22 weeks (but that is not supposed to be genetically linked). But we will take a huge amount of comfort in hopefully seeing 4 chambers, and the lobes of the brain, and the kidneys, etc., and that will help. Please keep us in your prayers, to find peace through the next 35 hours, and beyond. We need them, and do feel the difference. Thank-you.