Infertility Really Sucks.....................and a Our Giveaway Winners!!!

I am sure many of you are thinking that I am pretty superficial these days, with all my posts about pretty things and such.But I truly do have depth. I will admit that since becoming a Mom, finding the time to be wife and Mom, holding down a part-time job (with fabulous 12 hour shifts), trying to keep my house semi-decent, doing DIY projects, being a Mom some more, and than blogging after all that: it can be hard. Especially writing posts that explain how I feel, share emotions, and give a glimpse of our life. There is a story that I wanted to share, that thanks to a friend, I feel empowered. When we lost Ryker, I was devastated. After Lilly had passed, in fact, even before, I knew that having another child would not replace Lilly, but it would fill our hearts and arms. When Ryker was born, I knew that he was different from Lilly, but yet my heart expanded in love that eased the ache of our loss. When we adopted Collin, it felt very much the same. You never lose the ache of missing your precious little ones, even as sweet smiley babes come into your family. But you find that you lose the ache, and ache I wish no one had to experience.
The story I never shared is my battle of infertility, something that still scares me. As hindsight is 20/20, I know now that God was looking out for us, that he just had a different path in mind. I pumped while Ryker is alive (and no ladies and gents, this is NOT a form of birth control as I have taken care of many oops babies where the Mom still has a baby at home. Trust me, I have an oops sister who is 10 1/2 months younger!) and although pumping again is not an effective form of birth control, it still can delay ovulation. So Ryker passed away December 15th. I waited two months, and my monthly friend came. Well, the "friend" came and went, and than she did not come for a very long time. I went three months without my "friend". So I made an appointment to see my OBGYN and make sure everything was okay, all the while making some stockholders in the pregnancy test business very happy. Well, some levels were good, some were not, so I was diagnosed with a PCOS (polycystic ovarian syndrome) of sort and placed on some meds to help with the levels. I also had 2 very painful cysts that burst during this. The meds helped things to get on track. We tried a drug (now found to not be very effective in really helping a gal get pregnant) called Femara. Well after two rounds of that, and nothing, we were thinking about adopting. So we stopped the doctor visits for awhile, and worked on getting all of our paperwork in for adoption. (We also got pushed off the adoption fence by a birthmother that really hurt us with leading us on and than cutting us off without a word.) That took 1 1/2 months (close to record time apparently) and I felt like we should do whatever we could to bring a child into the world and try to get pregnant. By this time, it was October. I decided to try start seeing my doctor. It took awhile to get in, and so I did one round of Clomid before I decided I needed to lose weight and get healthy before I got pregnant again. So during the horrid 15 days of HCG and 12 pounds later, I got off the horrible weight loss plan and started exercising and eating better. I won a makeover, and shortly after the adoption Roller Coaster started with Collin which halted ALL plans of getting pregnant. I spent about a year going through meds and trying (which I hate by the way!) I get asked a lot "when will you put in your adoption papers?" As scary as it is to bridge this decision, we were told by Primary's geneticist Dr. Rope to have more kids. Yes there are risks. Everyone has risks, whether they realize it or not. Ours are a bit higher. But when we asked Dr. Rope specifically if we should have more, he responded "why wouldn't you?" and this was after talking for over an hour about Mike and our kids with him. He did tell us that of course he knew how stressful it would be, and that I physically and emotionally needed to be there before we went down that road. I do not know what will happen. I do know that we are simply enjoying Collin and his cute smiles and funny little ways. And although I do feel my uterus ache once in awhile (as I know so many do) I get a good dose of newness at work.
A couple of tips for those fortunate enough to be a fertile myrtle:
1.) Women dealing with the loss of a child, pregnancy, pains of infertility DO NOT LIKE TO HEAR the following: "we are so fertile that if we wash our underwear together we get pregnant" or "we are so fertile that if we just look at each other we get pregnant." This is a lot like going "na-na-na-na-boo-boo I can get pregnant" which is salt on the wounds. If you are talking to someone that has experienced a loss or having trouble getting pregnant, if you must say anything, simple say " I am sorry and what cookies or chocolate can I bring by?"
2.) Be mindful before complaining about pregnancy, hard times with your kids, and other complaints. I remember wishing I had a reason to be up in the middle of the night, especially if the reason was a cute chubby little one!
3.)For those who have adopted, even if they have gotten pregnant, do not say "well see, you just needed to relax" or " I know a friend of a cousin and after they adopted they got pregnant so I know that will happen to you." a.) There are children that were meant to come into certain families. Collin was supposed to be in our family. There are reasons, very good ones at that, that he came into our family the way he did. You will hear this with many families. There are also people who are sterile, or just cannot get pregnant in lamens terms. And those who do get pregnant, it sometimes is timing and other times trying different means or new treatments.
I am not trying to offend, nor am I asking you to walk on eggshells around those going through something painful. I simply am just sharing my story, and sharing some tips that help with easing the pain of those hurting.

Now, for something fun: two winners!!! Papers were cut up and names were written, and Mike drew two lucky winners (at least I think so!)

 

So, for this little prize:
the winner is.........................................................................................................................................
Crystal!!!!!!!
(Can you believe that this blue and the blue behind are the same shade, just the shade of the chair has been stained and loved up a bit??? Amazing what stain can do!!!)

And for this little lovely prize: a cute lantern from Ikea (I have one too!)
the winner is...............................................................................................................................................
Missy!!!!
So I will be e-mailing you two lucky ladies and getting addresses and get these shipped off!!!

I am trying to decide whether to do a giveaway, wondering if people do not get that excited about giveaways. I love a good giveaway (only have one once) but will enter whenever I find one since I love me some free items!!!! But that's me. So let me know what you think, if it is worth it or not.