Patience, Longing, and Ranting, and Hopefully Some Miracles.

*Just a pre-warning, this is kind of long!*
Through the loss of our two children, we have learned a lot of patience. For those of you who know me, you know that patience is not a virtue that comes easily to me. With Lilly's life, the patience we learned came from the un-known, and trying to not be frustrated with so many unknowns. I learned to live each day as if it could be your last. Let the people important to you know how much you love them, because you just never know what tomorrow may bring. Every day we wondered if that day would be her last. With Ryker, it was just pure and simple patience. I felt sometimes soo frustrated at the setbacks Ryker would experience and after each setback that he would overcome, I would sigh a breathe of relief, but knowing that inevitably there would always be more trials, and there would be more ways for the Lord to teach me patience. So why would getting our third child be any different? Every Monday, we have the privilege of tending our two year old niece and our 9 month old nephew. We love it. When Mike's sister comes to pick up Caiden, we always get a little chance to catch up. We were talking today, and she just was talking about how it is so odd that we were able to get pregnant so easily with Lilly and Ryker, and now we have been waiting/trying for over 15 months for something to happen. She just said that maybe we were just really meant to bring this little one into our home.
What prompted the discussion this morning is that I was expressing my frustration about getting a call (the lady was really nice and I feel like she is trying to do all she can) to inform me that things are happening so quickly, but it still may take another 2 weeks (from today) to have everything finalized to get this baby into our home. And although two weeks really is not that long, it just stinks that we would have to wait an additional week after court. We have twice now passed criminal backround screenings for LDS family services and now another agency (that shall for now remain nameless), and even though we will inevitably get our little baby. So why would someone want this baby to remain in another's home for additional week while we wait for some I's and T's to be dotted and crossed? How does any of this make sense? Why would you keep a baby from it's parents just to finalize some paperwork (and serioulsy, the ONLY hold up is PAPERWORK!) and ask that they just patiently wait? It is so frustrating! I really do not like having to learn patience so painfully. It hurts that we are going to possibly miss the first month of our baby's life. I know that we will (hopefully) have a lot of time to make up for it, but what would be the good of having him displaced from us for so long?! I do not see that this would in anyway be beneficial. We have rearranged schedules to go down next week, and I feel so strongly about being there, if only as a mere presence in the back of the court room. I am praying that there are lawyers who understand the need for this baby to be with it's adoptive parents. The lady on the phone said that she told her colleague to recommend that as soon as everything is finished to be able to place our baby with us and not have to go back to court.
So what we are asking now is prayers for some miracles. It is going to take a MIRACLE to be able to get our baby next week. That is where our loving friends and family come in. I know that prayers make all the difference. I have seen things which put to rest any doubts and that Heavenly Father truly is a God of miracles. So if you would, pray for us to have this miracle happen. I read an amazing scripture today. It says, "...Look unto God with firmness of mind, and pray unto him with exceeding faith, and he will console you in your afflictions, and he will plead your cause, and send justice...". The other verse I have been reading every day through all of this is "Thus we may see that the Lord is merciful unto all who will, in the sincerity of their hearts, call upon his holy name." These are words which have allowed me to keep my sanity and live each day. I am trying so hard to not feel frustrated, but I just begin to wonder why things have to be hard for us. I know we are learning and growing, but we sometimes feel like bringing a child into our home is pretty much nearly impossible (other than bringing cute nieces and nephews over to tend). So pray for us to have peace. Pray for hearts to be softened and for the miracle of bringing this little guy (and yes, your reward for reading my ranting and raving is knowing that this little baby is our little guy!) home next week. Thank-you everyone for your comments. They mean a lot to know that there are so many people pulling for us.