Disclaimer

Since I am now having people asking me whether we are pregnant or trying to get pregnant, I decided I probably needed to dispel a few rumors and possibilities. I am in no way pregnant, nor am I trying to become pregnant. I do not know when we will decide to continue our little family, but for right now, I am happy with our family of five (can't forget Lilly and Ryker!) We are looking to possibly moving this year, I need to lose quite a bit of weight (my weight-loss blog can be found here), and then partnered with a cute little almost one year old (not potty-trained mind you) it is not the right time for us. When it is the right time for our family to grow, this probably will not be the place we announce anything about whether we are trying or not. I may be an open person, I am just not that open.

Infertility Really Sucks.....................and a Our Giveaway Winners!!!

I am sure many of you are thinking that I am pretty superficial these days, with all my posts about pretty things and such.But I truly do have depth. I will admit that since becoming a Mom, finding the time to be wife and Mom, holding down a part-time job (with fabulous 12 hour shifts), trying to keep my house semi-decent, doing DIY projects, being a Mom some more, and than blogging after all that: it can be hard. Especially writing posts that explain how I feel, share emotions, and give a glimpse of our life. There is a story that I wanted to share, that thanks to a friend, I feel empowered. When we lost Ryker, I was devastated. After Lilly had passed, in fact, even before, I knew that having another child would not replace Lilly, but it would fill our hearts and arms. When Ryker was born, I knew that he was different from Lilly, but yet my heart expanded in love that eased the ache of our loss. When we adopted Collin, it felt very much the same. You never lose the ache of missing your precious little ones, even as sweet smiley babes come into your family. But you find that you lose the ache, and ache I wish no one had to experience.
The story I never shared is my battle of infertility, something that still scares me. As hindsight is 20/20, I know now that God was looking out for us, that he just had a different path in mind. I pumped while Ryker is alive (and no ladies and gents, this is NOT a form of birth control as I have taken care of many oops babies where the Mom still has a baby at home. Trust me, I have an oops sister who is 10 1/2 months younger!) and although pumping again is not an effective form of birth control, it still can delay ovulation. So Ryker passed away December 15th. I waited two months, and my monthly friend came. Well, the "friend" came and went, and than she did not come for a very long time. I went three months without my "friend". So I made an appointment to see my OBGYN and make sure everything was okay, all the while making some stockholders in the pregnancy test business very happy. Well, some levels were good, some were not, so I was diagnosed with a PCOS (polycystic ovarian syndrome) of sort and placed on some meds to help with the levels. I also had 2 very painful cysts that burst during this. The meds helped things to get on track. We tried a drug (now found to not be very effective in really helping a gal get pregnant) called Femara. Well after two rounds of that, and nothing, we were thinking about adopting. So we stopped the doctor visits for awhile, and worked on getting all of our paperwork in for adoption. (We also got pushed off the adoption fence by a birthmother that really hurt us with leading us on and than cutting us off without a word.) That took 1 1/2 months (close to record time apparently) and I felt like we should do whatever we could to bring a child into the world and try to get pregnant. By this time, it was October. I decided to try start seeing my doctor. It took awhile to get in, and so I did one round of Clomid before I decided I needed to lose weight and get healthy before I got pregnant again. So during the horrid 15 days of HCG and 12 pounds later, I got off the horrible weight loss plan and started exercising and eating better. I won a makeover, and shortly after the adoption Roller Coaster started with Collin which halted ALL plans of getting pregnant. I spent about a year going through meds and trying (which I hate by the way!) I get asked a lot "when will you put in your adoption papers?" As scary as it is to bridge this decision, we were told by Primary's geneticist Dr. Rope to have more kids. Yes there are risks. Everyone has risks, whether they realize it or not. Ours are a bit higher. But when we asked Dr. Rope specifically if we should have more, he responded "why wouldn't you?" and this was after talking for over an hour about Mike and our kids with him. He did tell us that of course he knew how stressful it would be, and that I physically and emotionally needed to be there before we went down that road. I do not know what will happen. I do know that we are simply enjoying Collin and his cute smiles and funny little ways. And although I do feel my uterus ache once in awhile (as I know so many do) I get a good dose of newness at work.
A couple of tips for those fortunate enough to be a fertile myrtle:
1.) Women dealing with the loss of a child, pregnancy, pains of infertility DO NOT LIKE TO HEAR the following: "we are so fertile that if we wash our underwear together we get pregnant" or "we are so fertile that if we just look at each other we get pregnant." This is a lot like going "na-na-na-na-boo-boo I can get pregnant" which is salt on the wounds. If you are talking to someone that has experienced a loss or having trouble getting pregnant, if you must say anything, simple say " I am sorry and what cookies or chocolate can I bring by?"
2.) Be mindful before complaining about pregnancy, hard times with your kids, and other complaints. I remember wishing I had a reason to be up in the middle of the night, especially if the reason was a cute chubby little one!
3.)For those who have adopted, even if they have gotten pregnant, do not say "well see, you just needed to relax" or " I know a friend of a cousin and after they adopted they got pregnant so I know that will happen to you." a.) There are children that were meant to come into certain families. Collin was supposed to be in our family. There are reasons, very good ones at that, that he came into our family the way he did. You will hear this with many families. There are also people who are sterile, or just cannot get pregnant in lamens terms. And those who do get pregnant, it sometimes is timing and other times trying different means or new treatments.
I am not trying to offend, nor am I asking you to walk on eggshells around those going through something painful. I simply am just sharing my story, and sharing some tips that help with easing the pain of those hurting.

Now, for something fun: two winners!!! Papers were cut up and names were written, and Mike drew two lucky winners (at least I think so!)

 

So, for this little prize:
the winner is.........................................................................................................................................
Crystal!!!!!!!
(Can you believe that this blue and the blue behind are the same shade, just the shade of the chair has been stained and loved up a bit??? Amazing what stain can do!!!)

And for this little lovely prize: a cute lantern from Ikea (I have one too!)
the winner is...............................................................................................................................................
Missy!!!!
So I will be e-mailing you two lucky ladies and getting addresses and get these shipped off!!!

I am trying to decide whether to do a giveaway, wondering if people do not get that excited about giveaways. I love a good giveaway (only have one once) but will enter whenever I find one since I love me some free items!!!! But that's me. So let me know what you think, if it is worth it or not.

DIY: Cute Idea (From a Really Talented Blogger!!!)

I love to come up with unique and new ideas, but I also have no shame in learning to do things or make things with the guidance of others. I stumbled upon Sew Much Ado. Now she has a lot of cute tutorials (I may even have to share some of the others!) but I fell in love with this little number. 

You see, this simple t-shirt:

 

Did you ever think that this plain boring t-shirt could into something as cute as this???

 

 Now as tempted as I have been to dress up Collin in girls clothes I may have done that once or twice I do have some really cute nieces (aged 3, 18 months, almost 3 months, and about to be born) and I think they would be just darling. And with those little leggings they would some really styling little girls. These are the little moments that I miss Lilly, miss the experiences I would be having with her right now. Don't get me wrong, I love Collin and I am so grateful that he is part of our family. But having him will never replace Lilly or Ryker, nor will any child. But children seem to help fill your heart, but there are always the little cracks that give you those hard days. Anyways, back to the cute skirt. I wish I could pull something like that, and maybe if I were a young buck (talkin' no older than 18 people!) I would see if I could pull the look off. I think I will have to venture out to the local thrift store and buying some second hand t-shirts (after being washed on hot, of course!) I have been oogling some of these really cute pillow cases so I may just have to try and make some of my own pillows( $45 bucks is a little steep for me!) I found these at Land of Nod, which just happens to be similar to Pottery Barn, and although still not cheap, at least somewhat affordable!

Talking about the sham in the middle although the whole set is really cute!

 I think I will have to buy some simple solid colored material, make some basic pillowcases, and add the jersey ruffle (jersey does not shred down like most other fabrics) to make my own cute pillows. I am looking to make the switch someday to either a cream or white slip-covered couch so I will have to get some vibrant colored pillows to brighten and add color to the room. I guess I will have another little tutorial soon!!!

*I have been doing some smaller DIY programs, such as repainting a lamp, trying my hand at redoing a lampshade which still needs some tweeking, cleaning up and giving a little paint to my beloved printers box, and some smaller other projects!!!

Hugging Just a Little Tighter

I remember when Ryker passed away. I remember after Lilly passed away. So many people asked me what they could do for me. Accepting help is not one of my strong points (neither is accepting criticism, although that may have something to do with people not knowing how to effectively criticize without causing offense!) So when people would ask, "what can I do?" I a lot of times did not always know what to say. I would ask for prayers (because lets be honest, that sometimes can be all that you can do) and I would ask that those who were asking would hug their little ones a bit closer. Or that maybe when they were up tonight with a child that just wanted to be held, that they just love and hug that little one, just savoring those moments. There are just so many times that I forget to appreciate the small moments (which truly make up the larger moments) and relish in what I have. Collin is in no ways perfect (I am perfectly happy with imperfection since Lilly and Ryker will always be our perfect little angels) but he owns a huge monopoly of our hearts. He makes us smile, laugh, and just shake our heads. You have to be wondering where I am going with this. I think all of us needs the moments of aha, of realizing how short life is and to hug those around you a little tighter. We need these moments. There are so many families that suffer because their child is suffering. This sweet and amazing mother did something that we probably all our guilty at some point of doing, of walking away for a moment to check or grab something, leaving a child for those short moments in the bathtub. I do not judge her, (nor should anyone) it simply was an accident. Little Bronson is fighting for his life. 

Prayers are needed.  That is something we can all do. So hug your little one's a little tighter, 

and show your support to this remarkable little family. They need it.

I've Got the Blues...... (and a Giveaway!!!)

......not really, but as much I love a good dose of pink, I love me a good ol' calming blue (well really I love whites, yellows, aquas, and teals, but this just happens to be a post devoted to good old-fashioned blue!)

 

I love this gorgeous armoire, and love the subtle hints of blue mixed with the creamy whites!

  

I think that this is probably my favorite picture! 

Truly, you cannot help but love the red/blue/white combo.

  

I love the creamy yellow and the blues all meshed, with some very cute accents of beachy love!

  

Can you help but love the blue in the dressing area, or the beautiful blue and white table?

  

I love Chandeliers in bedrooms (and pretty anywhere else!!!) 

 Could you tell me where to get this fabulous blue fan???

                             (I happen to be one of those people who sleep with a fan year round!!!)

And boy-oh-boy I could curl up on this stunningly blue couch, in front a fire 

enjoying a good book and a delicious cup of hot chocolate on a cold winters day.

 

 

And don't you think that these Chinese lanterns could transform my room a little boy or girl's room into a magical space, where imaginations can expand and explore???

And in the honor of  my new favorite color blue (okay, not really a new favorite, but still!) 

and to celebrate Little Forever Family's second birthday, why not have a little give-a-way

(with something blue of-course, and maybe a little white thrown in there too?)

You can enter this giveaway by:

• leaving a comment (with an *e-mail address please in the case that you win!)
• following Little Forever Family
• posting about the giveaway on your own blog (and than leave a comment here letting me know!)

And if you do all three, all the more chances for you to win!!! So want to know what the giveaway is???
*if you do not want to leave your e-mail, you can personally e-mail me at littleforeverfamily@gmail.com* 

 

 

 

 I've included pictures with  both the flash and with  natural evening lighting, just so you can get a visual of the actual coloring along with the detail (I do not have the photography talent at all!) So there will be two winners 

(and yes, you can enter even if you are not a Utahan!!!) Good luck to everyone!!!

* The blue picture frame is 5x7 and right now is blue, but will be distressed with a bit of stain.*

Entries will be accepted until 11pm (2300 hours) Sunday, February 7th, 2010.

Pink Pretties

I am just wondering who would like to join me for a Valentine's Day party?

I think I would have to eat serve some of  these: 

                                                                                                                                                               

And wouldn't those treats look divine served up so beautifully like all of these???

And I probably would have my lovely guests wear some of these lovelies:

And probably would have to use some of these decorations to make the party that much more lovely:

 

 

And I might have to wear something just like this (with sleeves of course!)

 

  

And probably have to send you home with a few of the yummy treats wrapped up beautifully like this:
 

And after all of that, I may just have to rest in one of these charming spaces:

 

 

  

Soo......anyone want an invite??? XOXO

*most of these lovelies hail from the equally lovely Daisy Pink Cupcake*

Happy Birthday Little Forever Family!!!!

Our little princess.

Our little family.

It seems like it has been years since I started this blog, and than again, it seems like it was just yesterday that I started a blog. This blog was started as a means to express my grief. It was back in the day when blogging was still a pretty new concept. My first posts were basic, and just glimpses of our life. Than I had a hard day. I remember the grief I felt that day, I remember laying in bed, sobbing while writing that post. Knowing I had to get things off my chest, or else I would slump into a depression, which would have been far from healthy. As I posted, I feel I became a better writer, more effective at writing my feelings.

Mike and our little fighter.

You see, I remembered back to when I had three days when I was pregnant with Ryker, where I did not get out of bed. I sat there and cried and cried. Mike even called my OB to see about what to do. Mike finally got me help and took me to a counselor. That was an ugly part of my life.
This blog has allowed me to share my ups and downs.

Picture with our sweet Ryker.

One of my favorite ups was blogged here. We shared our moments of grieving, we shared in the moments of others around us grieving. Tears of happiness and tears of joy were shed while writing posts. But all along the way, we have blogged. I wish we had listened to a wise friend while up at Primary's (talking about you Shauntelle!) that blogging truly is easy and your really do not have to be computer
literate and had blogged while we had Ryker, but hindsight is 20/20.

At Primary's Memorial for those children who had passed away.

I won a Make-over, we made a few fun trips (blogged here and here) and had some really cute nieces and nephews born!!! We were chosen for adoption and than let down, chosen again, suffered for a few weeks, brought our baby home, finalized, sealed and blessed. Blogging has allowed to share these moments with you, our amazing supporters. Your comments have lifted us, and cheered us along during hard times.

Meeting Collin for the first time.

But I know that this blog will be something our little family can look back on
and read about some truly important moments of our life
(and someday I will finally make a blog book, maybe this Christmas or something!)

Bringing Collin home.

So here is to celebrating the little milestones. And here is to many more posts!!!
*And tomorrow there will be a small give-away as a little thank-you to all our readers!