F.Y.I.

I talked to our caseworker today, and she told us that come next Wednesday, for sure no later then Thursday, our adoption profile will be online! We have written, re-written, collaged, re-collaged, letters, pictures, paid the "down-payment", done the interviews, both together and separate, deep-cleaned the house for the home study (which we actually did not have to be SO hardcore, but oh-well) and signed and copied all the paperwork we needed. Whoever said adoption is the 'EASY" way out has OBVIOUSLY never adopted! But we are so grateful to be done (and apparently in record time, as so many and even our Caseworker have informed us!) Who knew that two months was fast?! So whoo-hoo, school is here, and we are done with everything on our side so that now we can focus on our classes and just let time fly by! Please keep the prayers coming, they are much needed and very much appreciated! We know we will be blessed with our baby that is meant to be ours. I got to see another adoption at work this week, and talk to the adopted parents quite a bit. IT was inspiring, as all involved truly gave me some hope! Our niece Gracie had a rocky night a couple of nights ago. She is doing okay now, they are just trying to get her extubated, which is NOT easy at all. It is hard to not get frustrated. I remember crying at Ryker's bedside, telling the nurses and Doctors that it seemed Ryker would never be able to be extubated. I hit this point when Ryker was six weeks, one week before he passed away. It is soo hard to watch your baby struggle. You want so badly for them to be healthy, and not have to experience the many pains of this world. So our prayers are with you heart families, and know that we are praying that there will peace in your lives! Well, I had better go and do some homework!

Thoughts from life.

Just wanted to share some of the thoughts and happenings from our life. I will start on my more positive note. We are happy to say that come either tomorrow, Wed. or Thurs., we will be online and ready to go for adoption. Our profile will be able to be viewed, and as soon as we get the word, we will post the link for people to view. We have filled out ALL the paperwork, done all the interviews, completed the home-study, and jumped through the other hoops to finally be ready to hopefully adopt! Gracie (our niece) is holding steady. They did a skin graft, (using donor skin) today to see of it will take. Hopefully it will, and then they will use some of her own skin to make a permanent graft. They are going to start weaning her off the ventilator this week, and hopefully if they can do that, they will be able to start trialling her off the ventilator (which means doing 1 hour or so periods where they keep her intubated but she is triggering her own breaths and exercising her lungs.) She is cute, and I think she has some auburn to hair. We have started babysitting our nephew today. This is the only nephew I have had as a patient (when he was first born) and we adore him. His personality is coming out, and I'll be honest, Aunt Em is one of the favorites! He would be crying, and then stop when Mike handed him to me. I kept telling him that he is not soft like me, and to be honest, I have boobs and thankfully he does not. :) Caden laughs and coos, and just steals our hearts. He was just about to start coo and smile in this picture! My last happening in my life is something I wanted to share, that is funny and just really brings to mind that stupid people ruin it for everyone. (Or in this case, just put you in a real great mood...not!) I was walking through the PICU last week. As many as you know, our son lived his short seven weeks in the PICU, so naturally going up there stirs up a lot of the hard feelings of losing him. I was walking back, and a nurse (who I am sure meant well, most everyone does) came up to me, grabbed me and hugged me. I pulled back, kind of seeing that she looked somewhat familiar, when she said (I am sorry) but the STUPIDEST questions/comments I have ever been asked. Here we go: "Oh, do you miss Ryker?!!! Is coming up here hard?!!!" Hmm... let me think about this brain-stunner for a moment. Not sure how to reply, without sounding completely rude, so I simply said "yes", and walked away. Really, I could think of LOTS of things that would be wiser to say, but that really took the cake for me!!! I would also like to share a couple other stupid comments/questions I have been blessed to hear. The reason I am sharing these, is I have realized that I need to be more sensitive towards others situations and that we are not all as fortunate as another. So here we go again. "Have you thought about having kids?" On not seeing any children with Mike and I and knowing we have been married for 4 years (gasp!). "When are you going to start trying again?" Little do they know that we have been unsuccessfully trying to have another baby since last December. "Why would you adopt when you can have children?" Umm... people do not only adopt because they can not have children, they adopt because it is right for their family. Anyways, I just realize that really, people are not meaning to be offensive, they are meaning well. But the comment comes to mind, being killed with kindness!

New Heart for Grace Andersen!

One of our heart buddies Gracie just got her new heart! The Andersens are such an amazing couple, and this is such a blessing! This little girl is truly a miracle, and oh so cute! Our hearts go out to the family who were so selfless to bless another family in this way-it really is humbling. Good-luck Gracie with the new heart-we are praying for you Topher and Buggy. Gracie is so strong! Their blog is http://toshander.blogspot.com/ if you would like to keep updated as to how things are going!

Updates.

Gracie is doing good. She is holding steady. They want her to heal and just to use all of her energy to do that. We went up and saw her earlier in the week, and she was just resting. She is so sweet! They are wanting to do a skin graft towards the middle to end of the week, and hopefully that will all go over well. As many of you know, we are going through the process of adoption. We are about to finish the last step (on our end) which is to have the home study. Thankfully, we already have a relationship with our case worker. Her name is Sara, she is awesome, super-sweet, and is actually expecting her first (a little boy) come October. This makes us that much more at ease to already have a bond to her. The biggest thing they (LDS Family Services) suggests is to get the word out there that we are adopting, so here I am, proudly announcing that we are! We are praying to find a Mom that will bless our lives, and hopefully we in turn will bless her life. We were really hoping to adopt from a really sweet Mom, we even met her, but I worry that she is scared, and so we do not know if it will work out. We are just praying super hard that her heart and the heart if the biological father will be softened and see that we will love this baby soo much. It would be really hard to see this not go through. The Mom is going to be delivering at A.F. hospital, which is where I work, and it would be very hard to see her or the baby if things do not work out. This adoption road is hard. And I know that this is only the beginning of heartaches and worrying. So please pray that we will be blessed with a baby. The loneliness and empty arms is at times too much, and I know that having another baby would never replace Ryker or Lilly, but it is still a step towards healing to be blessed with another baby to hold in our arms. So we are asking for a miracle. Please help us to be blessed with this miracle, please pray for us.

My suprise!

Well, after 4 years of talking, asking, begging and I'll be honest, a bit of nagging and whining, Mike finally caved in and realized that we needed a second car. Many sacrifices have been made to avoid this step, but we are at the point in our lives where it is necessary to get a second car. Why would I be soo excited you ask, it is just a car. No, this is not just a car, this is THE car (the literal one) that I have wanted and waited ever so patiently for: a Subaru Outback. It may be the 1998 model, and yes, it may have some miles on it, but I love it! It is black, has leather seats (will never go back to non-leather I might add), and had a ton of storage. The funny thing is, Mike loves it too! All I have to say, is thank-you Dan and Nicole (it was their beloved car first!)Gracie has been holding steady, no changes really, but I think she has decided she would like to stick around. She is so sweet, just loves her little head to be rubbed and loved on. She is a month old yesterday, which is so just crazy as to how fast time flies. Mike and I start school in about two weeks (yeah for moving towards our nursing degrees) and I have to ask the question: Where has summer gone?! Although, I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE the fall. My b-day is in October, as are Lilly's and Ryker's. Although these are some hard times, I know we will make it through! Thank-you for all the prayers for Gracie, it does make a difference!

I found this amazing message, and it brings me such hope. For Mike and I, life is such a roller-coaster, so much unknown. I know that no matter what happens I will always have the love and support of my husband, and if we have faith we can overcome just about anything. On a side note our niece Gracie has had a pretty rough week. She still has an infection they are treating and trying to get her oxygen and sats worked out. Right now, she is holding steady and losing the fluid she needs to get off her body. She is such a sweetie! We are so thankful for the continued prayers and know we are so fortunate to have so many friends.

Prayers tonight for Gracie

We are again asking for the much needed prayers in behalf of our niece Gracie and her parents. I will update later, but really needing some prayers for her tonight. I know that prayers truly bring miracles, we have seen them in our own lives and in Gracie's short experience already on this earth. Thank-you all.